


Heterochromia

by shaardom



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Adults are mostly useless, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Physical Abuse, Soulmate AU, if you think that i can write anything else then you're so wrong, so yeah triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-01-30 09:44:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 28,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12651060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shaardom/pseuds/shaardom
Summary: Heterochromia : difference in coloration, usually of the iris.When your right eye is the color of your soulmate's.Irony of fate : the idea that fate, destiny, or a god controls and toys with human hopes and expectations.When you and your soulmate both have blue eyes.Pain : a feeling of physical suffering caused by injury or illness.When you do not guess the previous fact.---





	1. Take me through the darkness

**Author's Note:**

> In this AU, soulmates can take the pain from each other by wanting it hard enough : the person who has their pain taken will feel the blow and wear the bruise, but they won't be pained. The other will instantly feel it, though.
> 
> Caeci caecos ducentes : blind leading the blind.
> 
> It may be three or four chapters long, I already have the second one under my sleeve. You're wondering why did I give you so much to learn in the beginning notes but I promise that it will smoothly unravel. Enjoy !

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two soulmates meet after a long time— though the wait was only their first trial.

Heterochromia is a dumb name, Ronan thought. Because by definition, that condemned him to a life on his own. For a long time, he had woken up with the foolish hope that one of his eyes will suddenly claim a different color— but these things happen in fairytales. It happened in Gansey's life, for instance. His right eye was a few shades darker than the left one, and it isn't much of a clue but it's something to work with.

One fateful morning, Ronan woke up feeling like this was the day. He knew the answer before looking at his reflection but needed to check anyway. He flashed himself a grim smile at the sight of his known blue irises. A life alone. Didn't mean a life of loneliness, did it ?

 

Adam wished he had someone. After all, he kept writing notes and doodling in his journal. He desperately clung onto that hope despite the apparent lack of that — hope — in fate's plans for him. That desire was his secret, his happy place when the world went too hard on him. He knew that he thought of it too much to ever be satisfied. And with each passing day, he managed to get over something which had never been and apparently, was not even meant to.

He allowed himself to cry about it once, surrounded by trees. The tears were quick to well up. He carefully leaned his bike against a tree then slightly bent forward and blinked. His sight was clear again but the weight in his chest remained. He decided that it didn't matter anymore, then stood straight and headed back in town.

 

Ronan returned to racing days later, partly to get a distraction because the Barns weren't taking him that much time, partly to let adrenaline fill the void eating him inside. It wasn't a long time — a week — before he met old people. Street racing is a small world. Kavinsky welcomed him as though he had always known how things would end. Ronan chose to let a single disappointment eat the best out of him. Very few people chose another path, and Ronan had his load of tragedies to deal with.

"Let me see," Kavinsky said.

He got disturbingly close to Ronan's face, staring at his eyes. At first, he was tempted to agree with the conclusion that Ronan's soul is to remain alone. But years of dreaming and perfecting his art have taught him to pick on small details and he noticed. The first look confirmed what everyone else said. The second, closer look made clear that Ronan's belief that his fate was set to be a disaster had blinded him.

Kavinsky grabbed Ronan's jaw and slowly turned his head from side to side, to confirm what he saw and make sure that it isn't a lightning trick. It wasn't. Both of Ronan's eyes were undeniably blue. Yet, one of them had the blue of the sky mixed with a hint of grey while the other was a tropical ocean, more towards the green side of the blue spectrum. Ronan had a soulmate, whose eyes were also blue.

"Well, that's unlucky," he laughed while releasing him.

Ronan noticed that Kavinsky wore lenses to make his right eye as dark as his left. He shoved Kavinsky away from him, feeling his jaw hurt from the strong grip.

"God," Kavinsky groaned, rubbing his own shoulder. "You are much more agreeable after a drink."

They left the room to the kitchen. Ronan briefly stopped to look at the main door. He can go, right now. Kavinsky can't stop him when he's in full possession of his body.

"Getting lost ?"

A teasing voice came from the kitchen while glasses clattered against each other. Ronan still knew which way was to getting lost. Not moving is, joining Kavinsky in that damned kitchen is. He remembered the Barns and Opal and wondered how did he ever thought that they were not enough.

"Yeah. But I've found my way again."

Ronan couldn't help the disgust in his voice. He walked away without looking over his shoulder. At the Barns, he headed straight to his room and found a small journal everyone had been given to write to their soulmate. Then you're supposed to exchange them after meeting and it gives something to talk about. He had not touched it since his father's death and never felt much like a writer anyway. But maybe that can help.

He thought that if there was someone and it didn't show for some reason, then he'd take the pain they were feeling. All of it, because tonight he had been about to inflict such a great load on himself and everyone who cared.

 

"What have you been crying about ?"

Adam's throat was dry. He didn't bother trying to answer something with his strangled voice. That will make things worse. So he just stood in front of his dad, trying to even his breath. He thought he had erased every proof of his breakdown. Turns out he couldn't.

"Answer me."

He remained stubbornly quiet. The storm was right in front of him and he had nowhere to flee. Robert Parrish stood up, gauging him. Adam was no match against anyone, because he wasn't fed properly, exhausted himself at a thousand jobs to pay for his own education and spent what he had left making sure his parents never heard of bills. He didn't dare to buy and hide his own food because they will notice. Somehow, they got very clever at the worst times.

"I'll give you a reason, if you have none to offer."

Adam squared his shoulders. He should do something about it. Call the police, the social assistance, anyone. He couldn't bring himself to do it— he didn't even have a phone. The world made clear that he truly had no one to turn to.

His cheek burned, but it was nothing compared to the pain inflicted upon his neck to keep his head screwed to his body. It didn't last, though, and the pain was quickly toned down. He clenched his fists and his father noticed the frustrated gesture. Adam didn't know what is the origin of the rage targeting him. Maybe they wanted a girl. Maybe they didn't want kids and in this case they should be yelling at each other instead of taking it out on him. At this point, he'd rather be kicked out of the house— the trailer. The extras he earned will stop vanishing in bills.

When he fell, he was brought up on his feet by the hair. He was expecting more blows, more vengeful torture. He heard his own voice, groaning weakly. He reached out for the hands pulling him up and tried to get rid of them. The grip only got stronger. He felt a tear rolling down his cheek and knew that no one had missed it.

"You're not going to school this week."

That was the worst. Not going to school meant that he couldn't go anywhere because his parents didn't know that he worked. He can't just disappear like that for a week. Way to be fired, to lose the fragile world he had built. He didn't argue though, and simply retreated outside. He leaned over the railing, retching. It could go for nearly an hour before he started throwing up. Blood, saliva and bile. Tomorrow, he'll be covered in bruises and have to find a way to explain that. Today, though, he didn't feel the pain. He knew that violent shocks could make someone numb, but it didn't feel like the right explanation. He's used enough to being beaten up for it to lose the _surprise_ potential.

"Adam !"

He shivered violently, startled by the call. He didn't wipe his tears and made his way back inside, holding to every surface he could find to keep standing. The pain was dulled down but he still had the muscular tiredness. He was still tired, overall.

"What is it, now ?" he angrily spat.

"You are not going to school this week," his father repeated.

"I've heard the first time."

 

Ronan didn't notice the colors but he certainly noticed the pain. He was spending the late evening with Opal, teaching her tidbits of useful things when it struck. He didn't expect it, so he hissed loudly. Opal gasped and curled around herself on the chair, thinking that he hissed at her.

"What the hell ?"

He rubbed his cheek. There was barely enough time to recover when something invisible struck his shoulder. It burned.

"Kerah ?" Opal haltingly called.

Ronan inhaled sharply to focus. There is someone. He was immensely grateful not to have fucked himself up too badly. Why did no one ever spoke about the pain ? Did they not know ?

"Opal, go. I'll join you later," he ordered with a strained voice.

The assault could have lasted an eternity, for all he knows. When it felt like it was over, he headed to his room and plopped himself on his bed. A short moment later, he rolled on his side to pick the soulmate journal and a pen. There is someone and they are in danger. He was writing the last letter when a surge of pain made him drop the pen. It felt like someone was stepping on his hand. He placed the journal on the nightstand before it reached the other hand. His upper body was sore. He wondered who they were and what was happening to them. There were many reasons to get thoroughly beaten up. But the hands— that was to prevent them to write. Or hold things or basically do anything in life. He wondered whether his or the other's bone were to break. He hoped none.

 

_Still hoping that we meet._

Adam looked at the message he had scribbled. The more casual, the more desperate. He still didn't feel the pain. No bones broke, so that's a plus. He's locked up, so that's even. If he can get his mom to unlock the door before the morning— who is he kidding ? She had stopped having a will on her own and couldn't tell good from bad to save her life.

 

Opal woke Ronan up. He shot her an annoyed look, unwilling to move.

"Quest ?" she offered.

"Not today."

She poked his shoulder, pouting. Ronan groaned and cursed at her.

"I said no."

She picked the journal from his nightstand and deciphered the last entry, out loud. Ronan wondered when did she learn to read.

"You do not lie," she then said, replacing Ronan's journal where it was.

Ronan groaned more and willed himself to sit up.

"I fucking don't. And you're a pain in the ass."

"Quest !"

Opal clapped her hands and ran to the door, then turned to stare at him.

"I'm naked. Turn around."

She looked like she was about to argue for a second then complied and looked away, much to Ronan's relief. He did know that Opal is probably older than what she looks like but it still feels weird.

"Fucking hell," he muttered while gathering clothes.

Then he locked himself up in the bathroom. There were no physical marks, so the other must have kept them. His bargain was about pain, after all. _Thanks Fate,_ he thought. _Now can I get a map to wherever he is ?_

He got to slip while walking out of the shower instead.

Opal nearly freaked him out because she waited a step behind the door.

"What has gotten into you ?" He rolled his eyes. "Maybe he doesn't live in the country. How do I know ?"

"You ask." Opal said.

"Who answers that kind of question ?"

Opal raised a brow at him, making him feel like the kid. He knew the answer, and he also didn't like it much.

 

By the time Adam had broken free, it was already to late to attend class. He kicked a few pebbles out of spite, then decided to still have something done with his morning and newly re-acquired freedom and pedaled to Fox Way. He had to know what happened to the pain. A young woman around his age opened the door to the psychic's house.

"Maura !" she called. "Have you been summoning anything reprehensible lately ?"

"I hope not !" a clear voice echoed from the kitchen. "Why ?"

Adam knew that he looked like he went through hell and stayed there a while. He's still not out, so. Fair enough.

"Sorry ma'am, I just—"

"Come in," the woman sighed.

He left his bike under the porch and followed her. The hall was cluttered, not in a psychic way but more in a _too-many-people-are-living-here_ way. She led him to the kitchen, which had enough space to let him sit in front of the other woman. She whistled at the sight.

"Straight out from Neeve's darkest books," she sighed. "I am Maura," she then introduced herself. "She's Orla and Calla is upstairs."

Adam nodded.

"I'm Adam. Nice to meet you."

She is beautiful, with long, dark hair framing her face and an overall frail stature. He heard Orla leaving, then Maura expectantly raised a brow.

"What do you want to know ?"

"I was beaten up yesterday and uh—" he pressed a random bruise to make sure his painless life was still going. It was. "I didn't feel the pain. I still don't. Hell, I could bike my way here while I should be feeling sore to the point blinking hurts. Why ?"

"Hm," Maura said. "Because someone took that pain for you. Have you met your soulmate yet ?"

"I don't have one."

"You must have, otherwise you'd have felt the pain."

"But the eyes—"

Maura made a vague gesture. Kids aren't told about the pain part because there are too many immature people who would mess with it.

"Your eyes are blue."

It was Adam's turn to raise a brow.

"Maybe your significant other happens to share that trait. While it is true that there are people whose souls are not bound, this is not your case," Maura concluded.

Adam mentally cursed himself. It was so simple. Like the lost letter hidden on a desk among other papers.

"How do I find them ?"

Maura scanned his features. Adam didn't know what she was looking for and what she found, under the layers of heterochromia and bruises.

"Give them the time to find you."

"What does that mean ?" Adam asked, growing frustrated.

"Stay alive. You're not feeling the pain but you still take the blows."

"Please. I need—"

"Maura !"

He didn't hear Calla and her clients walking downstairs and opening the door. Apparently, she didn't enjoy what she found outside.

"What again ?"

She silently apologized to Adam. He shrugged. Calla didn't say what she thought Maura was responsible of and simply said that she wasn't taking care of this peculiar client. Adam heard her say something to whoever was outside then loudly walk upstairs.

"Would you mind waiting..." Maura gave it a quick thought. "Forty seconds ? I have to check on that."

Adam said that he didn't. She stood up and he noticed that she wore jeans and old baskets. The outfit made her look even younger. He heard bits of heated discussion and quietly stood up to peek in the hall. Another young man and a little girl stood there. He inched closer to the door and his hip hit the corner of a heavy piece of furniture.

The young man cursed more, confusing Maura. The little girl was talking, too. It didn't make much sense. Adam felt like he was swept off his feet by a strong urge to laugh and mechanically pressed his nails in his wrist, forgetting that he didn't feel pain anymore. Ronan held his own wrist, as if he could stop the nails from digging the skin.

"Can it fucking stop ? Oh my god."

Maura combed her hair backwards. She couldn't make sense of this, and Adam was still waiting.

"I'll be right back."

"It's fine," Ronan opposed. "This was dumb."

"No !" Opal shouted. "We stay."

"Opal, dear." Ronan looked at the sky. Or rather, the ceiling. "I don't know how can I possibly carry on with what I wrote."

The task sound immensely great. It was the quest of a lifetime, for some people. Maura was torn between staying and going back to unfinished business. Adam understood even less as it went on.

"Can you sum up your problem ?" Maura end up asking.

"I said something, then I wrote something and more shit happened."

"Uh... be more precise ?"

Adam couldn't stand the comical situation anymore. He laughed to tears without a sound.

"I said I'd take the pain from my soulmate. And apparently, I did, only that they're receiving too much in my opinion."

"So ?"

"I think they're in danger. I want to find them before it's too late."

Maura sighed something then gestured at them to follow. Adam barely had the time to go back to sit and even then, probably sat on the wrong chair. Maura shot him a reprobative look.

"I'm really sorry, I have to check on something."

"Please do," Adam said, unable to erase the laugh in his voice.

He noticed that the girl had hooves. Jesus. What the hell.

"No judging," Ronan snarled. "I forgot to tell her to put some shoes on."

"I wasn't judging _her,_ " Adam retorted.

"Then no judging _at all._ "

"No fighting in my house," Maura snapped. "Sit down and tell me your name."

Ronan complied. Adam knew that if looks could kill, he'd have been sent from one hell to another.

"Ronan Lynch."

Adam knew that name from the murder case. He didn't stop judging, though. Ronan was definitely someone worth staring at. Adam didn't know there was a girl in the Lynch household.

Maura loomed over Ronan for a brief second.

"That's interesting," she muttered. "I need to get some advice. Wait here. All three of you."

Then she hurried out of the kitchen. Adam cleared his throat. He was bad at interacting with people. Ronan called Opal and told her to sit. He hated psychics. Opal sat, although she remained very agitated.

"What are you in for ?"

He tore his eyes away from her to look at the other boy. A single glance taught Ronan what he thought he needed to know and left every other important clue out.

"I need to find someone. And I need to do it fast," he completed. "You ?"

"I have stopped feeling pain. It's convenient, but unnatural."

He was too busy muffling his laughter and had missed the part where Ronan was explaining the pain part to Maura, in a cruel turn of the events.

_Usually called the irony of fate._

"Why do you care, then ?"

"Because someone else hurts. And I have a— paining life."

"Caeci caecos ducentes," Opal sighed with frustration.

"Was that Latin ?" Adam asked, taken aback.

Ronan pursed his lips. Maura returned and Adam didn't get an answer. She was still wondering whether Fate would reward or punish her for lifting the veil over the boys' eyes.

"Give me a second."

She laid a tarot set flat in front of her and picked a few cards. This was a too great responsibility. She messed the deck again and laid it for Adam and Ronan.

"Pick a card each."

It just so happened that they wanted to pick the same card. Maura rolled her eyes and pulled it from the deck. The reversed Magician. That was as clear as river water.

"You're both missing something. It's not my duty to tell you what," she wistfully added. "Now go, you owe me nothing."

Ronan stood up, urging Opal to follow. She bit Adam, having found no other way to make both notice. Ronan stopped in his tracks and turned around to see Adam attempting to get rid of her without ripping his arm off. Ronan really didn't know what to do. Maura looked like she was questioning every choice that lead her here.

"Jesus fuck, Opal," Ronan said, evening his voice despite the pain. "It hurts."

And she stopped, just like that. Adam stood up and offered her his hand. He apologized to Maura for the inconvenience as they left. Ronan didn't go far. He leaned against the hood of his car, examining Adam's patchworked skin. Adam let go of Opal, feeling nervous.

"I want my pain back."

"Come and get it," Ronan deadpanned.

Adam didn't know how. He stepped closer to Ronan and held out his hand. Ronan took it. Adam's hand was callous and dry. The pain rose by waves and Adam was glad he didn't have to deal with it earlier. Otherwise, he wouldn't have escaped. He would have missed the chance of a lifetime, probably.

"You alright ?"

Adam shrugged. He is used to feeling like that. Ronan didn't drop his hand. He wished he never had to.

"It's fine."

"You can't return there."

"I'm underage. Not like I have a choice," he added, looking away.

"They'll fucking kill you."

"Let's not talk about that right now," Adam said, scrunching up his nose. "I'm— glad that we've found each other."

"Yeah. So am I."

Life felt less out of the place. Adam lifted Ronan's hand to his cheek. He winced when Ronan pressed it in a careful gesture.

"How did you know about the pain thing ?"

"I didn't." Ronan paused, remembering that evening. "I just thought— if it's a thing, then let me do it."

"Why ?"

"To retaliate. Get inside, I'll get your..." Ronan glanced at the assemblage of tires, "bike."

"Bastard," Adam muttered. "It's a fine bike."

"Try to get Opal on the backseat too."

Adam let go at the last moment. He lingered enough to see Ronan handle the bike with ease.

"Opal ?"

He heard the door being slammed shut. She didn't act her age, to say the least. He proceeded to get in the passenger's seat. He didn't remember the last time he felt this good. Sure, his mindset obliterated the future over a few hours. But it felt good.

"Where are we going ?"

"Do you have a place to be ?"

Adam sighed.

"Yeah, school."

Ronan offered to drop him there. Adam knew that he couldn't decently go back to the trailer afterwards— Ronan was right, he'd end up murdered.

"Here, take that."

Ronan gave him one of his leather bracelets. Adam thanked him and kept holding on it for dear life. He wished he could drop everything for a day, but he's a scolarship student. God knows that he needs that money and the attendance policy is strict.

"Tell me that I'll see you again."

"You will. Let me pick you up."

" 'kay. Sounds nice."

"Hey." Ronan raised his hand then let it fall. "It'll be alright."

"Yeah."

He stared in Ronan's eyes, searching for the strength he apparently lacked. Ronan had found a paper and was writing down the informations needed to find him again. It would be a shame if they were to be separated again. Then he gave Adam a sticky note to write on as well.

"What is your full name ?" he asked without reading.

"Adam Parrish."

"Well, Parrish." Ronan flashed a smile, melting Adam's heart. "I'll be around."

"Thanks for everything."

It felt heart wrenching to part after such a chaotic morning. But he only had a class and half before lunch. Then two classes before the evening. A full shift at work. _Fate, let our paths entwine._ He exited the car and ran to the main door. Before entering the building, he threw a last glance over his shoulder and found Ronan looking back. He found the strength he needed to get a hold of himself and keep breathing.


	2. To the break of the day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam needs to return to the trailer to retrieve his official papers. Ronan and him fear being separated, once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey, this fanfic is back. I'll try to update a few of them before the end of the year.
> 
> I'll check the warnings for the whole fic but in this chapter you'll find graphic depictions of violence and a lot of writing about physical/mental pain + negative feelings such as worry etc. But ! there is some fluff too. It's a pynch fic, I mean. Maybe one last chapter after that, maybe two, I still need to make up my mind.
> 
> Also, I'm aware that the layout may be different from the first chapter and I deeply apologize— but I'll clean that up some other time.
> 
> Enjoy !

Ronan went to get lunch for Opal, Adam and him. He still didn't find a pattern in her eating habits — talking about edible —, so he used to be careful about what he picked for her. She seemed to dislike beans, which had more to do with personal taste than any type of danger. On the other hand, she liked styrofoam, so that made her tastes in food unreliable.

"Caeci caecos ducentes." The words gracefully rolled on his tongue. "Did you have to bite him, though ?"

She sighed loudly, as if she thought he couldn't get any dumber and he had still managed.

"You're the brat," Ronan pointed out. "I'm a nearly functional adult."

Opal shrugged as to show that she didn't care, that he is what he wants to be as long as part of him remains Ronan Lynch.

"What do you want to eat ?"

"Tomatoes."

They headed to the fresh vegetables section. Ronan decided that tomatoes were safe, as long as he kept the plastic bag. He will care for the green hat another time.  
\---

One second, Adam was shielding his eyes from the blinding sun. The next one, he was being dragged to another location.

"Ronan, wait—"

They've both been waiting too long. Ronan was working against Adam's tie, his collared shirt and Adam found himself holding on Ronan's top like he could set it on fire. Ronan was slightly bent over Adam, who sat on the hood of his car. Adam took a shaky breath and tilted his chin upwards.

"Later."

Ronan reverently kissed his jaw. Adam started fixing his tie, clumsy without a mirror. Ronan cut his struggle short, but that didn't fully erase the consequences of the heated moment.

Adam said that he'd repay him for the food, which didn't make sense to Ronan. And Adam didn't know how to explain that part of him to Ronan yet. He knows it's not charity. Ronan probably didn't even think twice before getting stuff for him.

"That's dumb," Ronan end up saying. "You literally ran away—"

"I know," Adam snapped. "God damn me if I forget."

He has nowhere to go. Little money, a single person to care.

"What's wrong with you," Ronan sighed.

He brushed his knuckles against Adam's cheek. Adam shuddered at the touch.

"You do not have to do that."

"No," Ronan confirmed. "But I want to."

That was the plan. He'd stay at Ronan's until finding his own place and eventually sorting the whole thing out with his parents. Ronan end up taking both of Adam's hands. Adam didn't know what truth he was about to lay upon him, but he already hated it.

If that makes up for it, Ronan also hardly believe he's going to suggest such a conventional solution.

"You've got to report that to the police."

"Ronan please—"

"Don't get me wrong." Ronan wanted to release Adam's hands, but Adam kept holding onto him. "I'm not forcing you to. But—"

"Do me a favor."

"Anything but staying out of this. You could fucking die."

"Thanks for the reminder," Adam huffed. "Listen, I can't just leave. I need to get my papers first."

He pressed a hopeful kiss on the back of Ronan's hand.

"Let me return there. Last time."

Ronan hated the idea, but Adam sound confident about it. He knew the way around his parents, sort of. That said, none of them can tell if Adam's father is still mad. The dread creeping up Ronan's back and making his body hair stand whispers that he is.

"You don't spend the night there," Ronan said.

"It's more dangerous not to."

"Tomorrow is not a school day !"

"Shit," Adam breathed. "I forgot."

An stream of unrecognizable faces were moving to enter the building. Afternoon classes were about to start. He could sneak out, but this plan is very risky in case of failure. He can also lie about extra work the next day, which will lead to the same equation. In fact, exiting the trailer is harder, no matter what.

"I'll figure something out."

"What if you don't ?"

Adam sighed. Death almost sound like an extraordinary option after the levels of violence he had experienced.

"If I don't and we get separated for an undefined span of time, you can call me the worst soulmate ever."

"Poor consolation loot," Ronan argued.

"It's all I got. I lend you my bike and whatever I happen to own, too."

"Didn't think it could get any worse."

Adam choked on a laugh while standing up. He wished they had more time. Ronan held him tight. Adam suppressed the wistfulness menacing to choke him as he was released. He asked whether Ronan will be there when he's done with school. It's not a given.  
\---

If he has to die within the week, then he wants his last thought to be a nice one, among the maelstrom of pain that his last moments will be. To ensue a some sweetness in a cold ocean, he asked a kiss from Ronan. There are worst places for a first kiss than the front seats of a car. He struggled a bit to get on Ronan's lap despite the driving wheel. Ronan kissed his cheek first. Adam parted his lips for the thumb pressed against them. There was a brief moment of waiting, anticipation building up fast as Ronan held his chin before kissing his lips.

How did Ronan manage to make it feel special despite the sense of danger and rush pursuing them ? Adam didn't know. This didn't compare to anything he had experienced, ever.

He leaned forward, awkwardly holding on the armrests for support. It didn't even last long before Ronan tilted his head aside and Adam leaned back.

It didn't feel like a last time.

God, he didn't want it to _be_ a last time.

"Fuck." He felt weird, with butterflies in his stomach and a strained heart.

He didn't want to exit the cabin, to walk alone in the night and return to people who regretted his very existence since its most innocent state. But he has to. And if he doesn't will himself to, Ronan will be glad to take him away from this awful place sooner than expected.  
\---

He went.  
\---

"Let go."

Adam heard his own voice quiver. He had decided not to be subtle about the fact that he was leaving. He concluded that it was the best thing to do, even if just like the other plans involving a brief return to the trailer, it won't end well.

"Are you giving me orders, now ?"

Adam heard the belt sliding on the fabric and used the fleeting seconds he had left to brace himself. Something came, though not a blow.

"Don't—"

He was surprised by the change of strategy. He struggled hard enough not to let anyone catch both of his hands. If he does some noise, Ronan will probably get involved but then, he'll do something they'll both regret. He landed on his shoulder after being thrown down, both hands still free. He didn't know how the one-way bond worked. Ronan told him that he wanted to and it happened. Now Adam wants to and he's not sure that Fate heard him.

"You are only making it worse, my boy."

"I'm not your anything," he spat.

There was something pressing down on his chest — a foot probably — and preventing his lungs to expand fully. He fought that too, going against his basic defense reflexes, which are usually to tone what he can down and take the rest in. The belt lashed across his face once, taking him by surprise. The burn drew a pained groan from his insides. When it came again, he managed to catch and hold onto it.

A small cry escaped his throat when it was torn away from his hands. He quickly crawled a few steps away, attempting to gain some time to stand. All the noise and the struggles irritated his father, who had grown used to another behavior. Adam found that his bargain had been accepted. Worry and the associated vertigo exhausted him. He knew that by taking Ronan's pain, he pretty much gave up on this fight.

Adam was also worried for himself as he was restrained. His feelings mixed with Ronan's negative input made him unable to hold onto a thread of thought. He simply hoped that despite his fury, Robert Parrish had postponed the murder.  
\---

Ronan knew that something was wrong from the start, which became clear hours after the lights were turned off. He was hesitating to go and report that or keep waiting. Adam didn't have a phone. Ronan end up considering the possibility of going to get him himself. That would work. He end up racing to the police station with a sour taste in his mouth.  
\---

The wool scarf made Adam feel like he was choking. He was locked in the same area than the night before, only that his hands and feet were tied too tight and his father slept against the door.

_Fate, why are you like this._

He ignored the gag while he worked on untying himself. It took some time. In the end, he didn't feel like having achieved anything. He's still on the wrong side of the door.

_Let me feel alive while I still am._

As if he didn't hurt enough. His face is very likely to be swelling, plus the throbbing pain in his shoulder. A strong wave of sorrow threatened to drown him. Adam let it sink in, and once he had adjusted to that level of pain, he started to think, not realizing how affected his logical thinking could be by handling so much at the same time. There's the door, or carving a hole in the side of the trailer. Breaking a window, but it's too small for him to get through.

He painfully collected himself and started jousting with the lock, with little regards to the noise.  
\---

Ronan felt like wasting a lot of time he didn't have. There is no going back in these procedures. He had to wait even if all he received in the end was a poor "we'll send someone."

When ?

He started thinking, too and it occurred to him at some point that even if he was still mad at their respective fates and sick with worry, both feelings have lost their blinding side. He is thinking clearly, without going overboard. But that's not how it works. He didn't get more rational overnight and someone has to make the stupid decisions. If that person is not him...

"Jesus Mary," he muttered. " _Please, no._ "

He was on the way back from the Barns, where he had left Opal. He knew what he'd have done if he still had that pain. Something suicidal. Now, Adam seemed like much more of a logical person but who can tell what he'll do with both the physical and mental dimension of the pain pushed past their limits ? That will make him insane.

Ronan arrived to the trailer with not even the beginning of a plan. He simply went and knocked at the door. Nothing. He knocked louder and was considering the idea of kicking the door open when something moved inside.

He saw two things. It started with the unpleasant figure of the source of Adam's troubles. Then, seconds later, Adam himself, jolting from wherever to behind his father.

"What ?" Robert Parrish asked.

Ronan forced himself to focus. _Out_ , Adam mouthed.

"There's water behind the trailer. Probably a leak."

This is a flat lie. Ronan felt weird lying, even for a good cause. He has to take Adam out of here. The man facing him was desperately long to take a decision. He suspiciously eyed Ronan's tattoo.

"Show me."

Ronan heard a surprised gasp and he'd bet his life that the man also heard it. The wife, probably. That made Ronan hate her too. He hoped the man thought she had been surprised by him, Ronan. After all, it doesn't look like they're used to receiving company.

"So ? It's still leaking."

If he looked over his shoulder, that was it. Keeping the casualness up was the hardest part. The path was finally cleared. If Adam managed to get past his mother, that is.

"I don't see any water."

"Because the ground is absorbing it real fast."

It's easy to keep lying once you've started. Ronan doesn't even know where this comes from. The emergency, his will to get Adam out of here alive. It's almost amusing. He leaned against the trailer and started tapping a slow beat against it. The speed increased as he was running out of ideas to keep Parrish father occupied. In the end, it was a distressing staccato which abruptly ended. He prayed that Adam had made it. He could hold on for a minute maybe, which is enough to get whatever he had to and get in the car. He had purposely left the driver's door open.

"Good luck fixing that," Ronan muttered, wondering how much time a less-than-average person could spend searching an imaginary leak.

He slowly walked back to the car and saw Adam hiding behind the board. The downside of having the pain taken is that he couldn't feel the associated relief either.

"Stay down while I drive away from this shithole."

Adam made a strangled sound as to approve. Ronan told him as soon as he was out of sight, a few seconds later.

"Give me my pain back."

"Not yet," Adam opposed. "It's— you'll flip out."

"Just give it back."

"No."

Ronan glanced at him. The bruise was on the other side, so he didn't notice. Adam's features were strained and he was breathing very slowly. He briefly looked back then hid his face behind his hands.

"Adam—"

"St— stop worrying. Talk to me. Tell me how you kept him occupied."

Apparently, Adam wanted to keep it until they have reached the Barns. So, Ronan started talking. Then he asked Adam about how he got past his mother. Adam assured that his father was the hardest part.

"Can I touch you ?" Ronan suddenly asked.

"It's a hazard," Adam opposed.

"Then tell me how you feel," Ronan sighed.

"Like there are two people inside of me, and not enough room for both."

"I'm sorry."

Ronan drove close to the speed limit. He knew that going above would be very dangerous. Adam would only suffer more if they were pulled over.

"One of them is trying to shrink," Adam continued. "But it pains them and I feel it too."

"So they're pained to hurt you," Ronan continued. "And it grows."

"Yeah," Adam croaked. "Exactly."

He only agreed to let go once Ronan had stopped the car. Ronan eagerly caught his hands. He felt like drowning. Despite the relief, he felt like ice filled his lungs. No fire can melt it.

"Why did you—"

"One of us had to be able to think," Adam defensively said.

Ronan could hardly do that at the moment, or anything else, for the record. He was glad Adam had decided to hold onto it a little more while he drove.

"And why in the world did it have to be me ?"

"Because I was imprisoned ?" Adam offered.

"Never do that again."

"No promises."

"Yes, fucking promise. Oh God."

They exited the car and hurriedly ran into each other again. Adam took a shower and ate while Ronan tried to talk him into going to the hospital. He couldn't check the eventual internal damages. Adam was just overwhelmed by the attention. Even when he wished for someone, he had never dared to imagine that they could care so much.

"I'm exhausted," he end up confessing. "I promise there is nothing else."

Ronan let him sleep in his room to fulfill his wish for company. Adam fell asleep almost immediately but Ronan was too restless to close his eyes, despite wanting to dream some medication just in case. A few minutes later, Adam placed a hand over his chest.

"What's wrong ?"

His touch eased the discomfort. His voice made Ronan still.

"I'm terrified."

"I don't feel like I'm bleeding internally," Adam calmly said. "And you can have a look— I have bad bruises but nothing is broken."

He sat up and wriggled out of Ronan's shirt. Ronan turned on a bed lamp. There were dark areas all around Adam's ribs and on his shoulder. They have already disinfected and bandaged the side of his face that was hit. Ronan carefully touched each bruise and Adam was right at least about the unbroken bones.

His skin suffered heavily where he had been tightly bound. Ronan couldn't stand it and went to retrieve body cream from the bathroom. He forgot that it was scented. Adam didn't mind. He let Ronan apply it from his wrists to his elbows and from the top of his feet to his knees. Adam held his breath as Ronan cupped his heel to gently extend his legs, one after the other.

Then he carefully applied the lotion himself on the bruised areas, except for the shoulder. It was cold, colder than he thought anything could be in this place. It made him numb, which he counted as an improvement.

"Would you do me a favor ?" he asked again.

"Anything."

"Love me instead of hating him."

It was about channeling raw energy into something positive. Adam gave him his journal. He had written quite a lot. Ronan placed it on his lap and helped Adam to lay down.

"Can't believe you wasted time searching for that."

"I'm glad I did," Adam defiantly muttered.

He would have regretted it too, if he had been late exiting the trailer. Now, if Ronan couldn't sleep, that would be something to focus on. Ronan gave his in exchange, to follow the tradition and Adam couldn't resist the temptation of reading a random entry.

_Maybe you'll want someone else. I'll understand. But if you give me a chance someday, I'll be ready._

"Ronan ?"

"Adam ?"

"I do want you."

"Thanks ?"

"I mean. I want you. Not because I do not have anyone else or that we share irises. Even if we didn't, I'd still want you."

"Oh." He heard Ronan setting the journal aside. "I'd want you too."

It is stronger than love. He laid down next to Adam, even though he wasn't sleepy, and wrapped an arm around his chest. Adam placed his own arm over it and closed his eyes.

"I'm going to wake up. Don't worry."

Ronan didn't reply because if he did, they'd end up talking again and Adam wouldn't sleep. He kissed Adam's neck until Adam's breath had naturally slowed down and his body relaxed against his.  
\---

Adam suspected that Ronan didn't sleep or at least not willingly, more than a few minutes at the time, busy monitoring his breath and heartbeat until the blessed moment when he was freed from Morpheus' arms and fell back into his. Ronan propped some pillows and Adam sat against them. He didn't feel sore.

"You didn't take it, did you ?" he asked, furrowing his brows.

"No," Ronan confirmed.

He quickly explained that the cream they used was medicinal. Adam accepted the explanation. Ronan closed his eyes, one hand resting on Adam's thighs. Adam thought that he was going to sleep. After only ten minutes, Ronan opened his eyes

"Busy day ahead, right ?"

He didn't lie and Adam didn't lie to him. Ronan led him to the bathroom. It was huge. Adam leaned over the immaculate sink to look at his eyes. He had forgot which is his own color, having seen them as the same for years. He felt bad that he literally had to borrow everything from Ronan for now. Ronan didn't want it to matter. He had longed to share.

"Left eye," he whispered.

The left iris has his color. He could hardly tell the difference. He leaned back and started cleaning. He also felt embarrassed to ask for help with the gauze on his cheek. Ronan skillfully cut a new, unused strap and replaced the bandage, quietly pleading.

"I can't go to the hospital," he told Ronan. "What if they called the police saying that I ran away ?"

Ronan had not thought of that. He had found a larger roll to wrap around Adam's chest and shoulder. It was not much of a protection, but better than nothing.

"Why would they do that ?"

"Because I'm underage. School, work— everyone will ask."

"Then you're not safe here either."

Robert Parrish had seen him. The connection is easy to make.

"I guess," Adam said, "but I do not know where else to go."

"I do," Ronan said. "Let me just shower and get Opal."

Then they'd eat, all three of them. And they'd leave.

"Wherever it is, you do not plan on leaving alone me over there, do you ?"

"I can't—"

"If he thinks of telling the police about you, which will be the only reason why I agree to leave this place, you'll get arrested."

"You think I've never been ?"

"I don't need to know that. You—" Adam paused to regain his composure. "Either we stay together or I'm not going anywhere."

Ronan offered his hand. They had a deal. Adam threw his arms around his neck. Ronan carefully reciprocated the embrace. The gauze was soft against his bare chest. He felt Adam's pulse at various places and knew that he'd be driven mad if it ever stopped. The possibility that it could is already keeping him on the edge.  
\---

Maura opened the door herself. She was relieved to see the boys and Opal as in _thank God they're still alive_ and also weird because _should I tell them it's not getting better soon ?_ It didn't feel like it was getting better.

"Adam, Ronan. And... ?"

"Opal," the girl hummed.

Maura stepped back to let them enter.

"To what do I owe the pleasure ?"

She couldn't help being sarcastic. Irony saves lives, hers, in this case. It didn't take a psychic to know that there was little pleasure involved. They sat in the kitchen, like the previous time.

"I helped Adam run away," Ronan started. "He thinks his parents may have sent the police after us."

Maura didn't read the news this morning. It was very possible. Adam started fiddling with the deck of cards, being magical without noticing.

"You want me to hide him," Maura summed up.

"Yes."

Adam piled up all the cards with an elegant, annoyed move.

"We would like you to hide _both of us,_ " he slowly said, looking up at her.

"I can manage," Opal added.

She smiled and Maura felt uneasy. She almost burst out laughing, picturing Opal pound the officers' brains with her hooves. Ronan shot her a weird look. She snatched a card from Adam.

"There is not enough room for two fully grown boys here."

Fact. She isn't personally against the idea, but Calla will be bothered. She raised a hand to keep them quiet while she thought of an alternative. Adam stole the card from her hand, then expressing a childish satisfaction. _Magician,_ her mind yelled, putting neon signs and blinking lights all over the word.

"If you can manage, go to Nino's. My daughter Blue is working over there..." Maura sighed. "Maybe she can hide you in a storage room or something."

"And then ?" Adam asked.

"Are you positive that if you go to the police, they will send you back to your parents without listening ?"

"Maybe not if I go to them," Adam conceded. "But if they _catch_ me..."

"Then go." Maura thoughtfully said. "You can keep the deck. Blue will recognize it. Maybe it will make her more willing to help."


	3. Terrible things happen, at night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following Maura's advice, Adam and Ronan meet Blue. Adam meets someone else, too. The clock is ticking, there is little time left to make new friends : it's _surrender_ , or _lose_ each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfic feels like THE one I'll update sorta regularly and finish. Many things happen in this chapter ? I wanted it to be a 3-chapters fanfic but as the plot rolls, there will probably be twice as much.
> 
> Uhh what else, **warnings.** This chapter features _graphic depiction of violence on both of the main characters_. Like, I'm maxing the 'hurt' factor from hurt/comfort.
> 
> Also, Ronan and Adam are kinda perpetually tired so it starts to weigh on them ? Writing pain is the core of who I am as a writer, forgive me.
> 
> Despite what is written above, I hope you'll keep enjoying the story !

Adam knew something was wrong before Ronan tripped on the step out of 300 Fox Way, but needed it to confirm his first thought. Obstacles usually move out of Ronan's way, too frightened to remain. There is no reason to trip.

Opal had sauntered far ahead. Adam had stayed at Ronan's side because there is no other place where he should be. He was fast enough to catch him and Ronan was not tired enough to fall all the way. Adam placed Ronan's arm around his shoulders and they walked a few more meters to reach the car.

"You're exhausted."

"Bullshit," Ronan opposed.

But he is betrayed by the darkening shadows on his face and his eyes, clear yet increasingly harder to put on focus. Ronan took deep breaths to renew the oxygen in his lungs faster. He didn't know how long the relief will last. Adam understood the responsibility that was laid upon him. He will care for Ronan, too, and Opal had wandered away from them because she had deemed him as trustworthy.

"Nino's is five minutes away," Ronan added. "I can make it."

Adam wished that he could be of any use, but he didn't even know how to drive. Ronan didn't have the energy to teach him and they lacked time for a lesson, anyway. Adam half-heartedly let him turn the car on. Opal grew agitated for no reason they could guess. She clicked her hooves, clapped her hands, started humming songs she didn't finish. Ronan told her to keep it down once.

"Where are you going ?" Adam asked as Ronan drove through the parking lot.

"Hide the car. If you're right and they're searching for us, that's something they'll keep an eye for."

Adam could feel him tire out as he carried on with the last maneuvers. After the car had stopped, he placed a hand on Ronan's arm to keep him inside the cabin.

"It's a non-stop restaurant. You should get some rest first."

Ronan didn't even argue. He took Adam's hands to his lips, pressed a brief kiss against the back of his hand and locked the doors from the inside.

"You can manually unlock them of needed. If something happens, please take Opal with you."

Adam nodded. Ronan opened his soulmate journal and retrieved a pen from the glovebox. Adam leaned over the armrest to read.

_Ronan Niall Lynch, second son of Niall Lynch and Aurora Lynch, makes Adam Parrish the only owner of all of his possessions, regardless of their nature, physical or not, from this world or another. This will is to take effect if for some reason, Ronan Niall Lynch is incapacitated and/or made legally unable to profit from these._

_There are no obligations to submit to or justifications to give; Adam Parrish will be able to dispose of all as he pleases, being the only legitimate owner, as if he had inherited._

_Despite the previous block, Ronan Niall Lynch suggests that he does not sell the property registered as "the Barns", if he can avoid it._

_He also suggests that Adam Parrish allowed at least Matthew Lynch around "the Barns", and sustained a good relationship with this person._

_None of this would matter without the assurance that Adam Parrish is dear to Ronan Niall Lynch; that he is deeply loved no matter what and that these feelings are so strong that measures fail to quantify._

_Excelsior._

_Made at Henrietta, the xx/xx/xxxx._

_by Ronan Niall Lynch_

________Ronan returned the journal to Adam._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Now, the situation is exceptional, it's not allowed otherwise."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He proceeded to move to the backseats, stepping over the lever in the process. Adam laughed with disbelief._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You just wrote a will and stepping over the speed lever is exceptional ?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ronan gestured at him to come. Adam kept the journal. Ronan laid over him and Opal sat on Ronan's stomach. They were a handful, seen from the outside. Adam crossed his hands behind Ronan's back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You know what's really annoying about you ?" he asked out of nowhere._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Too many options."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He felt Ronan smile and that was contagious. So smug, he thought. Do only rich people get to be arrogant ?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"That. That's definitely part of it, though not the answer I want." Ronan hummed while listening. "You have such eccentric ways to convey your feelings."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"How so ?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You know what I'm talking about. Third person love confession ?" Ronan's breath evened. Adam didn't want to keep him from sleeping so he neatly wrapped it up. "Ronan Niall Lynch should rest assured that the concept of measure is ridiculous compared to the strong and genuine sense of caring he woke in Adam Parrish."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You're a menace," Ronan sleepily retorted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Adam stroked the back of his head. There was not even the beginning of hair. The haircut was so clean that it hardly felt natural. Opal stopped clicking her hooves but did not sleep. Ronan did not either. He was in a deep trance, at best._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He meditated for less than twenty minutes and assured Adam that his sleep cycle was broken. Adam stopped him after they have exited the car._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Pick a card."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ronan didn't trust that kind of magic, but he did. He laughed sharply and obliged before shoving it in his pocket._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Let's go."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________They held hands, as a statement. Adam was vaguely aware of how they looked— like a pair of teenagers who woke up from a nap in a car with their satyr-legged child. Except that Opal wore odd shoes to hide her hooves and a long, heavy skirt that disappeared under her coat._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ronan pulled Adam and Opal in a booth. They were sat for a short moment before someone loudly smacked the back of Ronan's head, eliciting an annoyed groan._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Lynch !"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ronan didn't even look over his shoulder. Adam seemed to shrink on his seat, startled by the attack. He found some strength in Opal's expression, which was disgusted at best._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________As Ronan didn't answer, the newcomer kept talking._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"What the fuck, man." Kavinsky laughed. "Thought you were coming back with some real shit. Diamond trees, rubies that taste like cherry. What's _that_ ?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He tilted his chin up, looking down on Opal, disregarding Adam's presence._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Keep your hands off them," Ronan warned._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"What's your name ?" Kavinsky asked Adam. "Since Lynch here won't introduce you..."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Adam hesitated for a moment. Kavinsky grinned and held out his hand. He took it. Kavinsky hauled him up. Ronan was standing in no time. Once he had pulled him out of the booth, Kavinsky shoved Adam against a column, grabbing his bony jaw with one hand, and started turning his face on either side, like he did with Ronan's days before._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Adam's felt nauseous. His hands slowly reached up to Kavinsky's. He heard Ronan aggressively calling. The waitress also snapped. Kavinsky didn't look like he cared. Adam heard his own breathing, clogged by his accelerating heartbeat. If Kavinsky had wanted to hurt him, he'd be done by now._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"What do you want ?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The usually rich intonations of Adam's voice were closer to a hiss at the moment. Kavinsky tsked. Whatever he searched for, he had a hard time finding. He wasn't satisfied until the dim light was poured in Adam's left eye, illuminating the iris and contracting the pupil. The waitress hit Kavinsky's arm with her platter._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You and your clique are not welcome here anymore. Release him before I call the police," she threatened._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________After having confirmed the eye color, Kavinsky dismissively gave Adam a last shove before stepping back. Adam noticed other people standing up in his peripheral vision. He also noticed the waitress growing taller as he sunk down._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Hey."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She was very gentle with him, leaning over, her lips curled with worry._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I'm—"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He couldn't say that he was fine. He heard Opal's shoes anxiously clicking as she remained sat, following Ronan's injonction._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Are you Blue ?" he uttered instead._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The waitress nodded. Adam shoved a hand in his pocket and paled— the tarot set was gone. He looked up at Ronan, starting to panic. Their token of good will was gone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"He— he took it. The set. Ronan..."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He had been too worried about the hand around his throat to think about what mischief the other served. Blue frowned. Ronan stepped in front of her and knelt next to Adam to help him up. He leaned towards Adam's good hearing side as Adam caught his hands._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"It was the king of cups."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He helped Adam stand, then retrieved the card from his pocket and handed it to Blue. She gave Adam a few seconds while examining it, then alternatively started at them and Opal._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Who are you ?"  
\---_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Hours later, the trio was sitting in the kitchen after Blue and Ronan had confirmed that Robert Parrish had taken actions to retrieve his son. Adam was hungry. He felt like it. But the thought of eating also made him sick, so he sipped on soda while attempting to avoid eye contact with the large pizza laid on the table._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Fate is crazy," Blue stated._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Tell me about it," Ronan answered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He then asked if she had met her other half yet, to which she energetically answered, that she had not._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"It will be better for both of us if Fate we were kept apart."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Why ?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Blue huffed and stabbed her gelato with a fluo spoon. Adam snorted at the childish gesture._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I should be laughing," Blue said. "You thought you didn't have a soulmate because your eye colors' were close."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Hey," Adam protested. "It made sense back then."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He dropped the soda and leaned back in the chair. Ronan stopped eating to look at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"What's wrong ?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He already wanted to throw up. It may be because of the sugar in his empty stomach, or Kavinsky's rash behavior._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ronan felt like Adam would be gone too soon, that he can't hold him back, that he can't help while he is still there. Blue was worried too. Maybe Adam is sick, she thought. She wished she could do something else than hide them in a storage room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I'm sorry."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The benefits from sleeping in Ronan's bed were gone. He was sweaty, terrified and exhausted again. He was still shocked by the brief encounter with Kavinsky— starting with how he hit Ronan. Thats was casual violence. The pervasive kind you stop noticing after a while. An invasion of private space. An attempt to assert dominance in the loudest way possible, to claim._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ronan held out both of his hands. Adam glanced at the offering but did not move._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You need to eat. We can't afford you passing out of starvation."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Adam pursed his lips. Ronan is right. He straightened his back and placed his hands in Ronan's. The relief was immediate._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"What did you do ?" Blue curiously asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"He took my pain," Adam answered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He could eat, then. Ronan leaned against the backrest and closed his eyes. Pain is a sort of drug. He is making an overdose. They haven been doing that too often._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Forgive me," Adam muttered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Eat," Ronan retorted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Gotta jet," Blue said. "My shift will be over in a few hours."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"She's nice," Adam commented._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ronan agreed. "We should go to them."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I know." Adam made a sour face. "Just— ten minutes. Give me ten minutes."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ronan would give him the world. Adam settled against him and closed his eyes.  
\---_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________They had the courtesy of greeting Blue on the way out. She managed a smile while taking her order.  
\---_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Adam's voice was momentarily stuck in his throat as the officers handled Ronan. Somehow, the clicking noises of the cuffs as they were secured around his wrists woke him up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Don't hurt him—" too late, way too late._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ronan didn't dare speak. Adam was held at a safe distance. Oh, if only they weren't so young._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I'd like to testify," Adam managed. "Please don't hurt him."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________They parted ways. A hood covered Ronan's head before he was led through the building. It was only taken off after he was seated in an interrogation room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I didn't kidnap him. Can you take these off, too ?" Ronan asked, pulling on his hands without being able to bring them in front of him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Later, maybe."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"It's a matter of life or death. He'll kill him."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Who ?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Adam's father."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Naming a relationship between Adam and this man felt like an enormous lie._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"How so ?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The officer's eyes were undecipherable. Ronan tried to focus on him instead of his lack of freedom. Every muscle of his body wanted to pull, until the skin started bleeding._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Are you blind ? He has already painted him black and blue."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The officer set his hat aside and pulled a single paper from the file facing him before turning it to Ronan. Ronan started reading Robert's Parrish testimony._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Funny story," the officer started, "We were told that it was all your doing."  
\---_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Hours later, Robert entered the room where he had been interrogated. Ronan stiffened on his chair._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I recognize him."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Robert said something about the tattoo. Ronan noticed the wife a moment later._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Adam is not going anywhere with you," Ronan challenged._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Otherwise, that would be a lawful kidnapping. Robert walked at Ronan. They stared at each other for a short moment. Ronan tentatively bent his torso to shield himself. The blow slid off his arm. Robert grabbed him and threw him down. He eventually made Robert stumble, failing to throw him off balance as well, all while groaning in pain. The too tight cuffs were cutting him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The woman shrieked. Ronan collected himself and got back on his feet, using the little time he had gained. Robert shoved him against the nearest wall and firmly held him there, both hands around his throat. Ronan coughed. He was getting hanged. His feet barely touched the ground._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It felt like an eternity before someone came. Ronan's sight was almost white and he held onto his last strings of will to stay conscious. Adam barged in and attempted to pull his father away, followed by two policemen who entered the room as Robert turned against him. Ronan inhaled deeply and coughed more. The air burned his throat. He saw Adam stumble backwards, the implications of it slowly building up in his mind. Tears blurred his sight, succeeding to the white and red dots. Breathing was painful._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Adam's anger was justified. His soulmate was starting to look rough. Ronan could hardly keep up with the following events. Were he a bit weaker of mind, he'd have passed out.  
\---_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"These," Ronan pulled on his cuffs, stressing the few buckles linking them, "are driving me mad."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The whole attire around his body shifted. Adam touched his cheek._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You're doing good. Not struggling, I mean."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ronan emitted a displeased, offending sound. Their fate was left unclear after the officers saw Robert hit Adam. The officers had taken him somewhere, after cuffing Ronan to the chair he was previously seated on._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"What is even going on ?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"They'll ask him. Then I think they'll want to hear me again. Or both of us."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Then ?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Then you'll be released free of charge, I won't be forced to return with them and we'll go after that tarot set."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Adam wanted to be optimistic. He kissed Ronan's forehead. Ronan closed his eyes to receive what felt like a blessing. Adam's prediction was accurate. He was freed before Ronan, as they kept him to test his blood. He was clean. When there was nothing else to keep them, their belongings were returned and they could go. It was five something in the morning. A wave of raw energy almost swept Ronan off his feet._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Listen, Adam."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Adam listened and heard nothing but his own heartbeat. The streets were silent. There was almost no wind. He turned to Ronan with a question in his eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"It's the best moment of the day."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________They were walking to the car pond. Ronan tended to stray on the street instead of staying safe on the sidewalk. Adam didn't say anything because the world was quiet and they'd heard the cars coming, if there were any._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The car pond was almost out of Henrietta and they walked there. They were exhausted enough that it didn't make a difference, as long as they kept moving. Ronan woke the guardian up. They looked at the paper from the station, made a copy of it then allowed the boys to enter. They couldn't find it at the spot that had been described, so they aimlessly searched until finding an odd alley of similar cars._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"It's yours over there," Adam pointed out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It was very recognizable, the only BMW between a hundred white Mitsubishis. Ronan pulled him back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"We're not going over there."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Why ?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"It's—"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________A horn startled them. Ronan swore. Adam's heart dropped when he saw Kavinsky emerging from the darkness._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"When you search for someone," he started, "you usually expect to find them."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Adam steadied himself. Kavinsky's attention briefly shifted to him. It was enough to make him uneasy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You stole the tarot set. Give it back."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I only steal from dreams," Kavinsky retorted. "You're not what comes to mind when I think of one."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"But you stole it from me, so, return it."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Kavinsky took a step closer. Ronan squeezed Adam's hand, keeping him from stepping back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I could do that," Kavinsky agreed. "Or you could win a race to earn it." He paused. "Or maybe I have sent every card flying in the open. What d'ya think ?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Fuck you," Ronan said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You know what they say about pretty mouths speaking ugly words ?" Kavinsky laughed. "They're not made for talking."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Adam was hypnotized. Clearly, the two had some history. But it's over now, since Ronan had chosen him a thousand times. They didn't have the energy to engage into a fist fight. Adam felt it in the way the night's quietness soothed both of them, putting their overused senses to rest. Adam embraced it, the stars, the white cars, Kavinsky walking towards them and Ronan's hand in his, a promise of safety._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"For once in your life," Ronan was saying. "Be sensitive. I can't drive for shit."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You'd know about being sensitive, right ?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ronan didn't reply. Adam felt Kavinsky examining him and remembered their violent encounter at Nino's. It was only a few hours ago._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"They'll release him, you know," Kavinsky told Adam._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I do," Adam agreed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Pity," Kavinsky concluded, about something greater than Adam's past life of abuse._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He was making a decision, Adam noticed. Maybe he could be agreeable when not on the edge. He'd never know. Kavinsky stepped back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"How many cards in this deck ?" He waited before giving the answer. "Seventy-seven. How many Mitsubishis in this trash place ?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"A hundred," Ronan answered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Kavinsky nodded._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Have fun searching."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fourth chapter is already written, so, it should be published soon. I'm glad that Kavinsky is back, somehow ? Didn't think I could keep threading the plot with him.


	4. Frightful, even

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once the tarot set is found, they go back to return it. Then, Adam and Ronan run various errands on their own, with different levels of success.
> 
> Adam meets a friend. Ronan discovers that they're not done fighting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is really unfolding nicely. Enjoy !

"This fucker," Ronan started.

A car has a thousand hiding spots for a tarot card. Adam exhausted himself searching thoroughly before allowing them to move onto the next vehicle. There are a hundred. It will drive them crazy if they have to go back.

It was around seven am and the sun was still not out when Adam felt a violent surge of dizziness. Ronan caught him. Adam weakly thanked him. Ronan regretted that he didn't have anything to eat. Adam held onto him to keep standing. Both feared that if they went, Kavinsky or someone from his clique would move the cars or the cards around and they'd have to start over.

"It does feel like the last trial from a fairytale," Adam pointed out. "Like, you know, finding a needle hidden in a stack of hay or cleaning a castle by yourself overnight."

"My parents sometimes read these to us. What happens if we don't find it ?"

"I don't like the idea."

Ronan trusted Adam's guts. They kept searching, with Adam moving around a lot less. It was still tiring. Enter a car, look around, exit the car. Walk half a step, enter a new one— which is exactly the same.

"Ronan," Adam said as he noticed Ronan growing quiet. "Talk to me."

It was a way for him to stay awake and for Ronan to stop fueling his hatred. He told Adam that he loved him, to which Adam reciprocated.

By ten, they had searched half the cars and found nothing. Ronan sat on the ground between two Mitsubishis, thinking.

"He has to be fucking with us."

"So, what ?"

"What did he say ?"

"Seventy-seven cards." Ronan supplied with his part of the dialogue, which had been the number of car replicas. "Have fun searching."

"He never said where the cards were."

"I'll be so mad," Adam warned.

Ronan hopped on his feet and wrapped Adam's arm around his shoulder before slowly walking towards his own, dark BMW. Adam was already laughing, a bit nervously.

Ronan opened the door and felt an immense weight off his chest. The cards were scattered everywhere in the cabin, on the seats, the pedals. A small stack was artfully balancing on the speed lever. Others where behind the wheel. Ronan glanced at Adam.

"Let's start collecting them."

They worked slowly and were done by eleven. The count was right. Ronan locked the doors and they collapsed from exhaustion on the backseats.

Hours later, they drove to Maura, to return the set. Adam handed it back, because he liked handling it. Maura considered taking it back, before glancing at the resolution in Adam's eyes and catching Ronan in her sight. He stayed in the car. Opal had literally forced him to come the first time. Fate, the second. There wouldn't be a third.

"You can keep it. Feel free to hop by, sometimes."

She could still feel the magic, exacerbated by his tiredness. He was both surprised and happy that she gave it to him.

"Thank you."

He closed his hand over it. Maura thought about the time it would take to draw another seventy-eight cards. Calla would force the boys to do it, if she knew.

"Go," she said. "The road is still long but it won't feel that way."

Adam smiled brightly, a rare occurence that Maura found more rewarding than money, then turned to join Ronan in the car.

"She told me to keep it."

Ronan agreed that she was nice. Like mother, like daughter; or the other way around. Now that neither of them were on the run, they'll be able to slowly figure things out.

"How does your shoulder feel ?"

"I had forgotten about it," Adam truthfully answered. "It's as good as new."

He glanced at the digital clock. One pm something. He distractedly noticed that he was late for third period. He huffed quietly and decided to let the afternoon go by. Ronan and him needed to talk, without being overwhelmed by a sense of rush.

He gave it time to happen. Ronan shaved. Adam unsuccessfully attempted to change his bandages on his own. Ronan helped wrapping new ones around his chest and shoulder without commenting. He applied more medicinal lotion to Adam's cheek, where he had been hit.

It absorbed the unnatural heat from his face and left him with the feeling of floating.

"Thanks," Adam whispered.

Ronan smiled. It was rewarding enough. I bled for this, Adam proudly thought. His inner voice supplied with a small correction.

We bled for this.

It was only after they were seated on the couch, with two scorching mugs waiting on the low table, that Adam started the conversation.

He told Ronan that he worked, studied, was a scolarship student and wanted to go to college. That he couldn't let any of that go. Whether he agreed, Ronan listened, until Adam appeared to be done. He asked confirmation with a raised brow. Adam nodded in answer.

"You'll be missed when not around," Ronan finally said.

He had too many other things to say, things he probably didn't have the right to. So he picked the most truthful.

"I assume you're not going to school anymore, are you ?" Adam asked.

He spoke very quietly, as of afraid of stepping on a dangerous ground. It was not. Ronan was glad that he had left.

"I couldn't keep doing it," he explained.

Adam exhaled slowly. Some have that choice, indeed. It was a mean thing to think, because Ronan was one of the people whose worth couldn't be measured with grades.

"What will you do, now ?"

Ronan grinned.

"I'm a farmer."

Adam laughed. Not in a mean way. It just sound really odd.

"It's nice," he cleared out, "that you have it figured."

"That was a lot about me," Ronan started.

He knew that it was a land of mines he stepped into without knowing what exactly would be the trigger. He suggested that Adam worked less, without making long, complicated sentences about it. Whether he agreed, Adam listened.

Ronan knew him enough not to keep insisting at the lack of answer. It wasn't no. It was good enough.

"We can bring that up later," he suggested.

Adam accepted the graceful escape he was offered and retrieved his mug from the table. Ronan asked if he knew how to drive, manual shift. Adam didn't.

"It's easy. Want to learn ?"

Adam agreed, implying that he also agreed to drive the BMW to go to places. Not tomorrow, though, or the day after.

"Where are your parents ?"

Ronan looked away. Adam understood before he answered.

"They're dead."

"I'm sorry."

He told Adam about his brothers. Adam remained quiet for a moment. He was still sorry.

"You're working tomorrow ?"

"Yes."

"Mind if I pick you up ?"

Adam flushed. Ronan didn't help, by pressing a fond kiss on Adam's cheek.

"I don't mind."

He really didn't. He replaced the empty mug on the table and leaned against Ronan At some point, he noticed that the world was literally moving. He opened his eyes in Ronan's dimly lit room and closed them again while wrapping an arm around his waist.

"Long day tomorrow, right ?" he sleepily uttered.

"Yeah."

He felt Ronan's hand in his hair and hugged him tighter. It felt like the end of the road. Maura was right.  
\---

"I'm at an arm's reach," Ronan said.

Adam nodded. He kissed Ronan's cheek and exited the car. His heavy sweater still didn't fit, but he hoped that it would cooperate someday. He heard the BMW roaring off, screwing some other living being along the way. He glanced over his shoulder to witness a flock of birds taking off and it made him laugh.

That kept him in a good mood while carrying on with the paperwork after school— he had to change his address, the letters couldn't be sent to the trailer anymore.

"How old are you ?" the secretary asked.

"Seventeen."

Adam almost shot him a look. It was written on his student ID.

"Under eighteen, I need an authorization from the legal guardian."

He said it matter-of-factly, not understanding what it meant. Adam tried again. If not the legal guardian, then the city hall.

"It's— I'll bring the papers later. Can you change it now, please ?"

"Not without the authorization," he answered with an apologetic smile.

"Can I make a call ?"

The middle-aged man rolled his eyes and told Adam to sit. Adam grabbed the old-fashioned phone on the cluttered desk and dialed Ronan's number.

He yet had to learn that the relationship between Ronan and his phone was based on an ancestral disagreement. He left a message and hung up.

"Thank you, sir."

He didn't receive an answer and exited the office. There were too many people in the halls. He didn't expect the crowd and ran into someone.

"Sorry. Can I—"

The other boy and him started picking textbooks off the floor. Adam apologized again, and wasn't heard over the student freaking out.

"My journal ! Someone must have unknowingly swept it off."

Adam was momentarily puzzled by the incongruous string of words.

"What kind of journal ?"

"The size of a hand, leather-bound."

"I haven't seen it—"

The overflowing stairs spat people Adam knew and whose presence he didn't enjoy. Meanwhile, the honey blond student facing him was still looking around. Adam tore his eyes away from the unpleasant apparition to help him look. He spotted it in a corner and knelt to retrieve it.

"Thank you so much. I'm Gansey," he said, unstably piling all of his belongings in one hand to shake Adam's.

"I'm Adam."

"From Latin class ?"

"Probably ?"

"Such a pleasant encounter, then."

Definitely no one spoke like that. Adam realized that he had forgotten to pack food before leaving the Barns. Kavinsky had finally reached them and loudly greeted Adam. Gansey raised a brow. Adam was glad that they seemed to share the same opinion about him.

"Get the fuck away from me," Adam spelled with a low, menacing voice.

He'd punch him. He was ready to start a fight and only needed the smallest spark to ignite his blazing anger; Kavinsky knew how to start a fire very well, too well.

"You wanna fight ?" Kavinsky answered with the same tone, making sure that Gansey would miss at least half of the conversation. "One on one, even a baby could take you down."

He shoved Adam against his locker. No one cared, except for Gansey, maybe. It was highschool. People fought. Adam dug his nails in Kavinsky's wrist.

"I see a blank canvas. He fixed you up good."

Kavinsky's breath carried smoke and alcohol. Adam threw a punch at his face, before having settled for the exact type of harm he wanted to inflict. At this exact moment, Gansey yanked the offender back. Adam's punch missed. It was frustrating, but also for the better. Scolarships have been lost over bad behavior— that included fights.

"You heard him," Gansey coolly said. "Go away."

"Missing your old pet ?" Kavinsky shoved his hands in his pocket. "This one's a rabid dog. Shitty investment."

Adam was unable to discern what hurt Gansey in Kavinsky's words. He thanked him. Gansey's composure was back in the blink of an eye.

"Thanks again for the journal," Gansey answered. "It means a lot to me."

"No problem," Adam answered. "See you around ?"

"Definitely."

None of them moved.

"Adam, would you happen to know about Welsh kings ?"

 

Gansey was slightly put off by seeing the BMW. Adam shot him a curious look.

"Do you not get along ?"

"We do. It's just lately, we were—"

Adam noticed the exact moment when understanding lit up Gansey's eyes. He asked a mute question. Adam nodded. Suddenly, Gansey was happier than he had probably ever been. 

"That's wonderful. I'm so happy for you two."

Ronan exited the car to greet them.

"You met," he stated.

Gansey only nodded, still a bit emotional. Adam walked at Ronan's side to kiss his cheek.

"I tried to call you."

Ronan apologized for not taking the call. Adam had not asked what was the deal with Kavinsky, but Gansey seemed nice and he wanted to know.

"Would you mind talking a language I can understand ?" he asked, somehow sounding the right amount of annoyed.

Ronan and Gansey stopped intensely staring at each other and Adam got some explanations after another round of apologizes. Yes, they are friends. Good friends, even. Yes, they got in a bit of a fight after Ronan dropped out. That was it.

"How long have you been out of high school ?"

"A month or so."

"You've been angry at each other for a month ?"

"Ronan had been angry since he was born," Gansey rightfully pointed out. "But I've been, yes."

He looked ashamed. It was ridiculous, once Adam had boldly stated the facts.

"Maybe we share other classes," Adam told Gansey. "So, you can stop being mad at Ronan at least for abandoning you in this hellhole."

They laughed. Adam and Gansey made a tacit deal not to talk about their encounter with Kavinsky. They'll look out for each other. It was enough.

Adam was running late for work. They said their goodbyes and left.

"I'll let you drive a few meters on the way back, if you're not too tired."

"Sounds good."

Adam was thrilled. He liked the idea that Ronan will help him nurture independence, that they will have this kind of relationship instead of a loving-yet-encompassing one.

He told Ronan about the issues with changing his address and Ronan offered to return to the police station to gather proofs that despite still being Adam's legal guardian, Robert Parrish did not deserve the title. That was as easy as expected. He remembered the dreadful night they had spent between these walls. Ronan had been there before, but yesterday was the worst.

"Did you come to turn yourself in ?" he was asked after declining his identity.

"I have not committed a crime."

He didn't stay more than necessary.  
\---

"I'll be right back," he told Opal before locking himself up in the bathroom.

His visit to the police station had taught him that despite being free, he was still facing charges about having kidnapped Adam and beaten him up. Robert Parrish was suing him. He'd receive a convocation to the trial during the following days.

He remembered all of that while intensely staring at his reflection. He didn't know how to break it on Adam. That will add so much pressure on him.

He exhaled slowly, feeling like his heart was suddenly taking too much room in his chest. More than loving Adam, he wanted to make him safe. He wanted to protect him, even if he came late, even if the worst was probably behind them. But Adam only needed time and he couldn't dream that.

"Fuck," he softly muttered.

He sunk to his knees in slow motion. The shiny tiles were cold, even through his jeans. He grabbed the marble countertop with one hand and rested his forehead against the edge, breathing slowly. All he needed was touch.

Ronan was ashamed of himself, even in the secrecy of his bathroom, safely hidden from his too revealing reflection. His knees hurt from supporting his weight on a hard surface. Ronan took it as retaliation for acting upon lust. He stroked faster, his task made easier by the immature leaking. He heard his voice in a series of inarticulate sounds, slipping between quick breaths.

He finally whispered the name of his soulmate, wishing that he was here and also that he wasn't, because Adam is tailored for the world and Ronan already has a lot of him.

The hand he jerked with was sticky. Once he was more or less certain that his legs could support him, he stood and went to wash his hands. His other self's frankly disgusted stare made him more self-conscious than he wished to be

"Stop it."

His own voice resonated across the room. His jeans were still down. He decided to take a cold shower, to make sure there was nothing inappropriate left. Kavinsky's voice rang in his ears as he fully undressed, bringing another double-leveled comment.

_How long did you think you'll last ?_

"Fuck," Ronan repeated with more intention.

He glanced at his nakedness in the mirror, noticed the way light poured on him and allowed himself a satisfied nod before heading to the shower.  
\---

He had been cooking without knowing that Adam didn't eat since breakfast. He took upon him not to react inappropriately to the news.

"You're really bringing this everywhere," he said about the journal he had given Adam.

"I try to read one or two entries a day. You drew me a flower," Adam added, flipping back to the first pages.

Ronan didn't even remember writing that much.

"You drew me a heart."

Ronan grinned. Both could keep updating the journals— it was recommended. They have received them as soon as they knew how to write. The concept of Fate and its consequences was introduced early and made to be a part of their daily lives. It was common that until high school, an hour or two were spared each month to soulmate journaling. The kids were given prompts to fill the pages and hopefully, when they took off to high school, they had grown a habit.

"Did I ?" Adam smiled amiably.

"It's cute."

Adam looked at the content of his plate to hide his embarrassment. The food was awesome, by the way.

Ronan eventually told him about the trial. There was no good moment to talk about it. Adam felt his heart twist.

"I'll testify," he defiantly stated. "And they already have the hospital's report."

"I also went to the city hall, but it was closing time. I couldn't carry on with changing your address."

There was something else. Adam waited. Ronan was reluctant to tell him.

"I can handle whatever it is, Ronan."

"It's about your scolarship."

Adam didn't falter, as promised, but he still felt his insides freeze.

"I justified as many missed classes as I could, but there was still the morning where we met and yesterday."

Adam quickly did the math. One full day and a half. Five periods.

"That's too much."

"So they say," Ronan answered, displeasure obvious. "You still have the rights for this month but—"

"If I miss another minute of class, it's over." Adam sighed quietly. "Thank you."

"I wish I had better news to share."

"You're alive and well, that's enough of a good new. Mind joining me ?"

Ronan filled his plate then obliged. Opal wasn't hungry, just very interested in producing abstract figures with the content of her plate.

"Eat. You can have tomatoes for dessert."

Adam fondly looked up at her. This time, Ronan will make sure to take off the green hat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For once, I'm not terrified by the idea of handling multiple plot threads at once. Because Adam will testify, it's unlikely that Robert will win the case but in case you're not familiar with courts, I can assure you that it'll be a lot of trouble anyway.
> 
> Kavinsky is officially a recurring character ! I don't know, I like that he's there for some reason. After Gansey, I think they're both done meeting people. Blue will definitely return in the following chapters.
> 
> Also, I noticed that Ronan and Kavinsky didn't have a one-on-one encounter since chap1 so there's that. /insert devilish emoji
> 
> And that's all ? Thanks for reading all of that (if you skipped the talk, at least the fanfic.) And if you liked it, please consider leaving a comment !


	5. If this is the calm before the storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are still many trials left before standing in court. They won a handful together. It's time for the individual challenges.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had been a while since I updated ! This chapter has been reworked a lot for some reason, but the posting delay can be explained by rovinsky week and life as well.
> 
> Anyway, there are no warnings I can think of in this chapter ? Robert Parrish is still infuriating, but there's really nothing too graphic. Enjoy !

Adam dreamt of tall, menacing figures that chased him through unconsciousness until he woke up by Ronan's side. His name was his first thought, the first word he uttered, still unsure of if he had woken up or if it was another part of the dream.

"Here."

He curled up against Ronan's chest while being hugged. It was the middle of the night. Ronan's voice was raw. He hadn't spoken for hours. Maybe he had slept a bit. Adam sniffled, burying his face against Ronan's chest. He felt a hand over his hair.

"What's wrong ?"

"Nightmare," Adam uttered.

"Sorry. I'll protect you better, alright ?"

"Thanks."

He dried his eyes and slept. That morning, Ronan left the bed earlier than him, which was a first. Adam got ready then went after him. Ronan was in the garage, where he was apparently fixing Adam's bike. Adam blinked. He had not seen it since Ronan had stuffed it in the BMW's trunk but there was enough going on that he didn't have to worry about it.

"I changed the tires," Ronan confessed.

"Why ?"

"Dunno. It'll save you the hassle if you want to go on your own, someday."

Adam smiled. He couldn't imagine being on his own today, but someday was possible.

"That's really nice of you."

Part of Adam had not expected to keep personal growth as a priority. He was slowly coming to terms with the idea that a close relationship could be freedom, too.

"Hey. Are you alright ?"

"Yeah ?"

All of this was so fragile. He remembered the chains keeping Ronan down and took a deep, controlled breath. He'll be running late. He can't afford that anymore. Ronan understood.

"Let's go."

Opal was waiting in the hallway. She dropped handful of ripe berries and leaves in Adam's backpack. He let her despite Ronan disapproving scowl. They were now early and Adam took the time to look into the mailbox.

"Who is it from ?"

"Court." He sighed.

"Probably the convocation to the trial."

"I didn't get one."

Ronan slammed the driver's door.

"Strange," he said, looking around to make sure Opal was nowhere near the car. "Maybe they're both inside."

Adam remembered that his address was still to the trailer and tore the enveloppe.

"No, it's just for you." He started reading. " _Oh._ "

"Oh ?"

Ronan glanced at him. His mocking smile was frozen on his face after he had noticed Adam's horrified expression. He regretted fooling around, changed speed, didn't even check the directions.

"What is it about ?"

"It's—" Adam read the title again. "A restraining order."

"What does it say ?" Ronan then asked.

"A mile radius. No contact." Adam was listing the terms out loud, not quite believing it.

"We can still both be in Henrietta," Ronan pointed out.

Adam crossed his arms on his chest not to tear the paper in shreds. He didn't have a word in this. He never had a word. Ronan was risking jail for every second they spent together after reading the letter. The amount of energy his father put into ruining them was unbelievable.

"A _mile,_ Ronan."

The news were bad enough that they needed some time to process it, almost the whole time driving to Aglionby. Ronan spoke first, as he was pulling in front of the private school.

"I'm going to ask something difficult from you, which is that you forget about it until tonight. I _will_ come pick you up," he asserted. "Then, we'll figure it out."

"I'm going to ask something equally difficult from you, which is that you answer your phone if I call."

Ronan promised. They had a deal.  
\---

The day was long. He spent most of it guessing what errands Ronan was running. He called Gansey during lunch and they talked a lot. Adam couldn't make sense of what Gansey was answering. He tried and failed not to show that he was waiting to hear Ronan's voice.

"Where are you ?"

"The city hall. You live at the Barns now."

That had been the highlight of the day. Ronan promised to explain what he had been discussing with Gansey, apologized for having Adam break his promise not think about court-related issues then hung up. Adam stared at the screen in disbelief then returned it to Gansey with a small laugh.

"We're going to make it, aren't we ?"

"Of course," Gansey confidently answered.

They headed for the next class. Adam did some research during the break and apparently, his father had the right to speak in his name while requesting the order. That went along his story of making Ronan the cause of his bruises.

Ronan did come to pick him up. Adam half-expected to see police cars following him.

"How was your day ?"

"Shitty. If you ask me why, I'll punch you."

Ronan laughed. 

"Alright, I'll get to the point. You could stay at the Barns. But— you may be safer with Gansey," he explained.

Gansey would protect Adam at least from his father. Adam agreed that Ronan had a point. Still.

"Where would you go ? Is Gansey alright with that ?"

"Haven't thought of it. He is."

So that's what they've been discussing, Adam thought. He laughed, exposing his frayed nerves.

"I'm so mad, Ronan. A goddamn restraining order."

He retrieved the paper in the glovebox. Ronan caught one of his hands before he had started messing with it, keeping the other on the steering wheel.

"Adam, I'm already known for having anger issues. Deteriorating this paper won't help our case."

Adam set it down, which was very frustrating because it couldn't slam and almost started floating because of the AC.

"This is shit," he declared between two outbursts of sad laughter. " _Don't._ You're driving and I have every right to feel in pain."

It felt like the only right he wasn't getting denied. They kept holding hands even though nothing magical was happening. Ronan was tempted by the one-sided bargain as Adam's breakdown progressed, but listened to his soulmate's wish. It was another type of pain, to hear your significant other cry.  
\---

Monmouth and the Barns are far enough from each other. The notebooks aren't a mean of communication, so Adam kept Ronan's and vice-versa. Gansey suggested that Adam settled down in a different room than Ronan's, to make it easier. Adam chose not to distance himself from what he didn't need to and even found some comfort in the surrounding whimsy.

Ronan had gifted him a few items that he discovered while unpacking. He laid his treasures on the bed. A bottle of Cologne water, a large cozy sweater, a heavy scarf, leather gloves and the tarot set that he had apparently forgotten. A note stuck to the sweater.

_Materia consolationis, ad mentem. In corde tempus._

Adam unfolded the sweater. Ronan had also lent— given him a great amount of money, rolled in a sleeve. He wore the sweater, kept the gloves and stuffed everything else back in the suitcase before heading downstairs. Gansey's approximative knowledge of cooking kept them occupied for a big part of the evening. The result was far from what Ronan could have made with the same ingredients, but still good.

"Do you know when the trial will be scheduled ?"

"Not yet." Adam made a sour face. "I wonder if that suppresses the address change."

"Oh," Gansey shrugged almost dismissively, "I doubt that the same services are taking care of this. They won't immediately notice."

Adam wondered if he was finding some comfort in the sweater or simply too shocked to react instead. The worst part being that Ronan had not been taken from him yet— they were apart to keep that from happening.

Ronan's troubles with order were foreign to Adam's fading bruises. Plus, they've seen them go together after that night spent at the police station. Adam couldn't understand. While Gansey agreed that it didn't make sense, he had already wrapped his mind around it.

They talked and talked, but the subject was never exhausted. They end up talking about Gansey's unknown soulmate, which was a change, though Adam couldn't decide if it had been for the better. Gansey confessed that they were a person he couldn't find until Fate had put them in his way, hence why he focused on Glendower instead.

"We should sleep," he suggested at some point.

Adam agreed that they should. He had lost the habit of sleeping alone. Even though he will miss the routine Ronan and him had built, he did not regret its existence.

The morning came with the necessity to carry on. Adam stared at his reflection in the mirror. He grabbed his comb but couldn't bring himself to start working on his hair. Gansey found him in the same position twenty minutes before they were supposed to leave. Adam's fists were clenched hard. Gansey feared that he may pierce his skin.

"May I ?"

He carefully retrieved the item from Adam's hand. Adam let him.

"I told him to carry on," Gansey explained while reaching out for his curls. He didn't know how to be gentle, so he was slow. "He said that he will. And I said that I'll help you do that, too."

They were early in class.  
\---

"I'll keep you a spot."

Adam was not depressed enough that Gansey's smile failed to momentarily raise his spirit. He focused on his hands while washing them not to stare at himself. Gansey had done a good job combing his hair, but he had not bothered styling them after that.

Kavinsky hollered at him as he was patting his own curls, hoping that dampening them will earn him an enhanced cooperation. Adam was not surprised that they keep running into each other— the world was only great enough to keep him away from his soulmate.

"Where did you get that ?"

Adam decided that he had never been in the mood for interacting with Kavinsky. He was already at the door anyway. Kavinsky jumped after him, grabbed his wrist and pinned it to the doorframe. Adam sighed audibly.

"What ?"

"The bracelet."

Adam had almost forgotten about it— Ronan had gifted it to him on day one and he had not given it much thought since. Even now, the memory was a background noise as he focused on asserting his situation.

"It's mine," Kavinsky insisted.

"Obviously not."

He attempted to peel it off Adam's wrist. Adam closed his fingers around it and brought his knee up against Kavinsky's guts at full speed. His opponent crumbled on his knees, grunting in pain. Adam patted his empty pockets.

"I learn fast, shithead."

He almost told the thief where he hid what he had taken from Ronan's money to spite him. He settled for making sure to open the door wide enough that it would hit Kavinsky's head on his way out instead.

Gansey had chosen an empty table. Adam hurried to join him. He told him about his encounter. While Gansey was slightly worried by the fight, he kept it for himself not to tamper with the beginning of Adam's good mood.

"There is indeed something you can do to lift the restraining order."

"Anything. What is it ?"

"Write to the judge who issued the order, asking him to lift it and explaining the situation."

Adam thanked Gansey.

"I'll get to it."  
\---

It was last period and they have successfully dragged themselves through the trial of afternoon classes. Gansey have been distracting them from the whole court-related issue as soon as the lesson ended. They were walking towards the secretary's main office, towards the exit when Adam stopped in his tracks. Gansey peeked in the office and saw a man he assumed was Adam's father, talking to the secretary.

"Let's take another exit."

They walked against the crowd to an emergency door that led them to the side of the building. Robert knew Ronan and the BMW, not Gansey and the Pig.

"I should go back and see what it was about," Gansey explained. "Though I strongly dislike the idea of leaving you on your own."

"We shouldn't let him find out that we know each other," Adam decided. "If you can get me to the car, I'll manage."

They went with the uncaring mass of students. Adam sat on the passenger seat and pulled his hood. Gansey lent him the keys without thinking twice. He walked on Robert again on the way to the office. As expected, the man did not so much as glance at him.

Adam knew the Pig was enough of an invisibility cape, despite the bright orange. He immediately noticed his father among the students. The Pig was too far for him to even care about looking in that direction, but Adam's heart still raced. Gansey's silhouette was back in his sight soon. The boy slammed his door and leaned in his seat.

"He's enforcing the order."

In other words, making sure that none of them will be allowed to contact each other in any public or private place it has reached.

"Makes sense," Adam muttered.

Gansey reached out to supportively rub his shoulder. The court having Robert's back was an oddity he couldn't define, but that will probably have to wait for the trial.  
\---

_The wait had always been the hardest part._

Adam thoughtfully tapped the pen against the polished wood. He felt oddly at peace and knew that Ronan had done their thing again. His mastery of the deal felt wickedly unfair. Three people have written in this single journal. It's supposed to be very intimate— but Kavinsky seemed to have a knack for ignoring the concept.

_So here's a list of things I'm waiting for :_

_You_

_The trial_

_Answers_

_That doesn't seem many but you'll guess each has another few questions. I can hardly wait. I've been doing a lot of that already. I thought that we could at least wait together. Is a court order-free ? Gansey and I did some research but I don't remember coming across that._

_He's a great friend, by the way. You were dumb to stay away from him for a whole month. My guess is that he's more hurt than what he shows, but you know that already._

_See you at court._

_PS : how long do you think it'll take to schedule ?_

He signed the entry. Then, he waited for the ink to dry and flipped the pages back to Kavinsky's entry, read it once more and closed the journal.

He went back to the kitchen and spilled tarot cards on the counter. He didn't want to go upstairs and search for a cloth to put between the cold surface and the cards. They'd have to deal with the minor inconvenience.

He didn't understand Maura's gift.

He thought about many things while shuffling the cards and after having drawn a few, had no idea what they meant. He noted them, order and all, they went to sleep.

Ronan's room at Monmouth suddenly felt so personal that setting a foot inside would be trespassing. He didn't dare to retrieve his things until the next morning and spent the night in a guest room that was not dusty. His bike was waiting outside when they headed for school. Gansey disapproved. Adam also did, despite appreciating Ronan's thoughtless gesture.  
\---

"You're alone, today," Maura noticed. "Everything alright ?"

"We're trying to make it."

"Oh. I suppose I can help ?"

Adam nodded. "Thank you."

She led him upstairs, this time. One of the other two were using the room downstairs. They sat and he could explain his issue.

"I'm not sure how to use the cards."

"It depends." Maura was aware that vague answers were frustrating, but Adam wasn't asking precise questions either. "Most people use them as counselors. What do you want to do with them ?"

"Talk to Ronan."

"I'm not certain that you need the cards to do that."

"How so ?"

They're always at least a literal mile apart. If nothing can help him—

"The intention comes from you, not from the cards."

She didn't speak about his magical aura yet. He didn't understand the terminology. She sighed.

"Let me ask."

The cards answered peace and inner voices. Maura suggested that he slept and maybe something will happen. Adam wasn't sleepy. As he didn't want to wait — because he was either awake or exhausted — Maura agreed to a drug-induced sleep.

"But you've got to keep your objective in mind," she warned.

 _Talk to Ronan._ As he was approaching the realms of dreams, only the name of his loved one remained. He felt like falling, but didn't jolt awake.

He was on the church steps and Ronan was being dismembered by a hord of strange creatures. He was picking up speed to go and stop them until colliding with someone. They caught him while falling and he landed on them with a small 'oof'.

"What the fuck ?"

Ronan was here, and he was over there, too.

"I should be asking," Adam retorted, confused and terrified.

"I'm alive."

"Then what's— that ?" he vaguely gestured towards the gore.

"Not me." Ronan sat up. "What the hell," he repeated. "Why did you run towards them ?"

"I wanted to stop it."

He was still hearing them feast. Ronan was wary of him, he realized.

"That's me," he said, for a lack of better words. "I— went to Maura for help."

"Do you know what's happening ?"

"No. I trust you with that."

Ronan laughed.

"Think you could do that again ?"

"I could find you from across the globe."

Ronan hugged him. He asked if Adam knew how to go back. Adam didn't know. He spotted Opal, hiding behind a tree.

"She wanted to come," Ronan explained, scrunching up his nose. "Told her it was a bad idea."

Adam tried to get closer to her. She sent a sly root on his way, not quite sure if he was who he appeared to be.

"Alright," he said, raising his hands. "I'll leave you alone."

She muttered something. Ronan scowled. Adam started to feel dizzy.

"Is it the dream place ?" he finally asked.

"Yes. How did you—"

"Kavinsky has written about it."

Ronan looked close to being ashamed. He was promising to explain— this, Kavinsky and maybe more when Adam doubled over. Something was calling him back.

"Until next time," he hurriedly said.

They parted. Adam fell from the couch.

"Mom !" Blue called. "He moved !"

He distincly heard her sheathing a blade. _What the hell._

"Oh thank God."

He didn't see anything until the light was turned on. Blue was wearing pajamas. Maura was still in jeans. She looked like she had just woken up.

"What time is it ?"

"Almost midnight."

"I've seen him for five minutes at most."

"You have searched a lot. So, it worked ?"

"I'm going back to sleep," Blue announced, like she was used to stab people to wake them up and that she was also tired and thinking of taking an early retirement from the job. "Have fun."

"I think so." Adam answered to Maura. He rubbed his eyes.

Maura asked many questions about where Adam had landed, the monsters and Ronan himself, while making past midnight tea. Adam did his best to answer and asked many questions of his own, to understand. The more he rubbed his eyes, the less efficient it got. He had smeared blood on half of his face. He didn't even discuss it.

"Is it tragic if I throw up near the porch ?"

"No ?"

He hurried downstairs, his newly acquired velocity making it worse. He made it to the end of the street then couldn't hold it. Did magic had this effect on him or was it the memory of not-Ronan's body being torn apart ? Either one of the two or a delayed reaction to Kavinsky attempting to rob him once again. Or lastly, his own blood. Probably that.

When Maura had caught up with him, she suggested that he call someone to pick him up. Gansey was the only choice, though Adam hated that he had to wake him up. Gansey wasn't sleeping so that settled it.

"Why are you not surprised ?" Adam asked him after they had walked Maura to the psychic's house and parted.

"We have accepted the idea that an unknown hand arranges lives, spins the wheel of fortune, that it's playful most of the time and unfair for the rest. Why would anything else be a source of dismay ?"

"Because you don't talk to people who are still alive via dreams. At least not to hold concersations that are relevant."

Gansey nodded to accept that he had a point but didn't add anything. Adam sighed. A land of secrets surrounded Ronan. He couldn't avoid tripping on them despite his best efforts.

"Is there anything you know about Ronan that could explain this, which you're not telling me ?"

"Yes."

"Why ?"

"He'd prefer to let you know himself—or be there when you first hear about."

"I get it."

They keep lacking time and running out of luck, having used all of it to meet. He closed his eyes. Gansey gasped, startling him.

"Heavens, Adam, you're bleeding !"

"Am I ?" He patted his face. There was still blood but it had started to dry. " _Oh._ Oh no, don't worry."

He showed him his injured palm and explained how Blue had forcefully woken him up. Once they got to Monmouth, he headed to the bathroom to clean it up. He distractedly thought of the trial and mentally thanked Ronan for having returned the bike.

After all blood and sour taste were gone, he changed and climbed in the bed, having returned to Ronan's room. He lit up a small lamp and opened the journal. He had stopped discovering entries to obsess over a single one, though there were probably a few more of the same kind. Half of the page was ripped. Kavinsky's handwriting covered the rest.

Adam was still tempted to write over it but these entries were a part of Ronan's life he couldn't change. At this thought, he closed the journal and turned the light off. It was the same as if he had been reading.  
\---

_Gonna tear that one too ? Man up. Your guilt is messing with the dream place. This shit is boring._

_To whoever reading this, your man's mouth went to places. But I'm not a pig, I rinsed it with bleach._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Materia consolationis, ad mentem. In corde tempus." : material comfort to ease the mind, time to the heart.
> 
> Like, Ronan knows that Adam will be distraught (like him) but he hopes that at least he won't have to worry about things such as his next meal. He took the risk to drop the bike for a similar reason, so that Adam won't have to rely on anyone to go where he needs to be. (In case that wasn't made clear enough— you never know.)
> 
> I'm halfway through the sixth chapter. Hope that this one lived up to the expectations the fourth may have left ! Apologies if it didn't. Feel free to let your thoughts be known !


	6. There's no imagining how the wind will be like (1/2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [So many things happen that I'd rather give you a line from the chapter instead of attempting to summarize it.]
> 
>  
> 
> _"It's like you said, the last trial of a fairytale. Fighting the dragon or escaping the maze." Ronan continued. "We have to make it, Adam. There's no retelling the story."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting close to the end ! There are most likely two chapters left, maybe three depending on how skillfully I wrap thing up. One thing I learned while writing this was to 'tell the damn story' as the main risk was that it got lost into details— which is hopefully not the case. Without further ado, enjoy !

"Ronan."

Opal calling his actual name nearly startled him. He peeked at her from the platform he was working on.

"You can call me that."

He was pretty sure that if she could wrap her mind around calling people names, she'd call him a little shit. She didn't say anything else for a while but he still sensed her presence. He ultimately climbed down the ladder to face her, even though that required putting one knee down— and she was still smaller.

"What ?" She was thinking. "You can make long sentences."

"It's almost time," she finally said.

He sighed. So much for long sentences.

"Thanks."

The convocation had arrived after two weeks, for a month later. Ronan had not seen Adam during that time. They followed through every single restriction that had been applied to them. No communication, written or oral or by any other means. Sometimes, though, he'd receive cryptic news from Gansey — who he had not seen either, for the record — and send some updates on his own, in the same fashion.

Apparently, Adam's address was still at the Barns as he received both letters. He had written the address where Adam will be found and had reposted it. The Barns have changed since Adam's last visit. He had worked a lot around it but unless his task was very precise or technical, it still allowed him a lot of thought.

"I want to see him too."

"Soon, I hope."

"He's nice."

Ronan agreed. "Definitely."

He hid his tools and made sure nothing was a hazard before bringing Opal back into the house. A drenching rain started to pour the moment they were in the house again. Ronan decided that they were both taking a shower. When he looked down, Opal had reached the stairs.

"Jesus Mary," he muttered. "I'm not running after you."

Despite Opal wanting to be there, he couldn't bring her to court, especially when the odds seemed against him. She didn't want to stay at the Barns either. After an almost too-long discussion, she changed her mind. He couldn't promise that he'd come back with Adam.

"Pax," Opal said, optimistic.

Ronan couldn't scold her for a single Latin word.

 

He drove slowly, dreading the moment when the court will stand in front of him. He had retaliated for dressing up by not carrying anything like a suitcase. The convocation was in his hand and had been tucked in the pocket of his coat. When he dressed casually, one could get hurt. The three piece suit — each piece being a perfect fit — meant that they were dead and buried.

He tried to decipher the board featuring the names of the cases to be tried, attempting to find his or Parrish's. Gansey's voice rose from behind him.

He glanced over his shoulder and saw the police officer nod. There's not a part of Adam he noticed first— he embraced the whole sight of his soulmate, hardly breathing until Adam caught his hands.

"Hey."

Adam was laughing. Ronan asserted that dazzling state of facts while uttering a poor echo of Adam's wholehearted greeting.

"I missed you."

"Me too."

Adam was trying to get every detail in, though he knew he couldn't. Ronan's stubble had grown into the beginning of an actual beard, cleanly cut and defined. The separation had made both look a bit older.

"When is your birthday ?"

Most if their troubles will end once they'll both be of age.

"End of spring. Soon."

"You know that I won't live this far without you."

"But I'll be there."

They parted on that note to let Gansey have a word with Ronan. Adam didn't look threatened. The officer was clearly embarrassed.

"Is it our turn?" Adam asked as the gates opened.

"I can't read this fuckboard," Ronan answered, eliciting a round of laughs.

"It is," Gansey nodded.

Ronan cupped Adam's cheeks and kissed him. Adam returned the favor. That could have been good luck.

"You should loosen your tie," Ronan suggested to Adam.

Adam didn't realize that it was too tight. Ronan had felt it during the short kiss. He helped Adam pull the knot a bit lower and patted his collar. That was good luck.

 

Robert Parrish showed up late enough that the judge had almost decided to start the hearing without him. It was officially the judge against Ronan. Since Robert had only requested the preliminary protective order, he was a witness and therefore stood as a such next to Gansey and Adam.

Ronan didn't have a lawyer and had refused to let the court appoint him one, not for Gansey's lack of trying to change his mind. The judge read Adam's letter. The bottom line of the document was that Adam did not want a restraining order to be issued against his soulmate and that they were both suffering greatly in consequence.

"Do you confirm having written this ?"

Adam confirmed. He hadn't been forced to. It was the first time that Ronan heard about this letter. Adam felt him staring for a brief moment, but didn't dare look back.

The next piece of evidence was the plethora of reports of all sorts that have been generated after their night at the police station. The Prosecutor's lawyer stated that the origins of the bruises were unclear. The medical report only said which were recent and gave details about their shapes and location on Adam's body.

It was a long, excruciating process. Finally, they stopped reading and the judge asked Ronan what happened after they left the station. Ronan explained the truth. He also slyly pointed out that the Barns were still Adam's legal address.

"Well-played," Gansey matter-of-factly whispered in Adam's ear.

The judge then turned to Adam and asked him to supply with his version of the facts and details Ronan may have forgotten. Robert's hand clasped on his shoulder.

Adam froze.

It wasn't a fatherly, supportive gesture. Plus, Robert was grabbing his still recovering shoulder. Adam clenched his teeth. His father's grip hurt, stabbing wounds that were barely closed.

"Come on, son. Let's get this over with."

Adam's mind went blank. He distractedly felt Gansey looking without understanding the scene that was playing. He remembered Ronan's kisses, the tarot set, Kavinsky but not what to say and how to align sentences to recreate this part of the story. Things that happened during the nearly two-months apart overlapped with events from before.

"After we were released—"

The lawyer requested permission to interrupt.

"The time tables show that you were released a few hours before M. Lynch ?"

Adam corrected himself. He didn't know these details anymore. Had Ronan mentioned their encounter with Kavinsky ? Gansey requested to interrupt the hearing, pointing out Adam's distress. Robert had successfully set him off.

"Are you alright ?"

Gansey tried to understand. Adam quickly explained that his shoulder had been badly hurt and that Robert had not exactly been gentle while touching him. There was a lot more going on. What Robert did was threaten him. I'll break these bones, he had said. I'll break both of you.

"I can't let him—" he clenched his fists, nails digging his own palm. "Ronan was perfect. _Shit._ "

"Ronan said everything that he remembered happened up to the hearing," Gansey pointed out. Adam didn't need advice on that, but he couldn't speak about anything else while they were listened to. "You only have to do the same."

However, as soon as Adam was around his father again, speech was more of a talent than a basic function. If their lives up to this point was a tapestry, Adam could only hold onto strings of fabric. His reflexes went against asking for help. He grabbed the wooden railing and closed his eyes, almost imagining the trailer a few steps behind him. Gansey spoke or requested permission to intervene. Robert clicked his tongue. Ronan was too far for Adam to hear anything.

The judge decided or agreed to set another hearing, given Adam's sudden inability to participate. He wasn't allowed to return at Monmouth after Gansey and Ronan's friendship had been established. Then, the judge asked Adam if he had a place to stay, other than his parents'. Adam didn't know anything else than the rage devouring him. He had lost that battle, if not the war. Ronan's eyes briefly crossed Adam's. He was too ashamed to keep his chin up.

"The Barns are his," he stated. Adam looked up at him, feeling his heart in his throat. "Adam indeed has a place to stay."

"Very well."

It was almost the end. Gansey leaned in to tell him something. He blinked. Something ethereal stretched around him, toning down the storm. He didn't feel numb. It was very different. Hopeful ?

"This ear is deaf, Gansey."

He had spoken loudly enough to catch attention amid the preparations for the next case. Gansey was always a blessing, but he outdid himself on that one.

"How so ?"

"There's a railing around the trailer." Gansey mouthed the word _explicit._ "Where I lived. He — my father — hit it with my head."

Gansey nodded imperceptibly. That had been good. The judge sat. It was starting over.

"Still no lawyer, M. Lynch ?"

Ronan raised a brow. "Still no terrasse, M. ... ?"

"Very well." The representative of Fate repeated. "It appears that the investigation has missed some crucial elements. Let's give this case a closer look."

Gansey walked past Robert to have another word with Adam.

"Now would be a good time."

"What for ?"

" _Pain._ "

Gansey's suggestion was very clever. Adam caught his soulmate's attention and signed something. Ronan looked slightly confused, as expected.

 _Take it,_ Adam thought. _Just take it already._

His father was too close, Gansey having failed to exchange their positions. Ronan said a few words, disappeared in the hall and returned shortly after, seemingly holding something. He walked to Adam. Gansey was halfway between amazed and dubious. He hadn't seen Ronan lie to get Adam out of the trailer.

"It fell from your tie."

He caught Adam's hands and leaned over the wooden railway.

"I can only take your pain," Ronan reminded him.

Adam dreaded the moment when Ronan will walk away. That fear was nearly paralyzing him.

"I can't say that I understand how hard it is." The judge started fanning himself, growing impatient. "But I trust you. I'm _proud_ of you."

"No," Adam whispered. "Don't say that."

"I know what happened." Adam couldn't believed that he knew and was still willing to touch him. "I know you're rather have told me yourself."

The knock of the wooden hammer startled him.

"Enough ! We have a case to re-examine, young men."

"It's like you said, the last trial of a fairytale. Fighting the dragon or escaping the maze." Ronan continued. "We have to make it, Adam. There's no retelling the story."

Adam nodded and squeezed his hands, one last time. He didn't know where to put the pin on his tie and decided to pocket it instead of making a fool of himself.

"M. Adam Parrish, we're listening to you. Begin when you think is necessary for the full story's understanding."

Pretty much everyone they knew had done more than their part to help the soulmates to stay together. Adam had often regretted that he couldn't help more— he didn't know how to drive, barely made profit, was only a magical beginner. Now, he would make the difference.

"I thought there was no one, so I went to mourn the loss and cried."

It was cathartic to have to think of this again. The more he spoke, the less he was afraid. He said what he remembered and how he remembered it. That was close enough to what Ronan had said and what Gansey knew, far enough from what his father had told. He eventually reached the point where Ronan's story had stopped and was told to continue.

 _"Has anything important, which you'd like to mention, happened during the two months you've been apart ?"_  
\---

The restraining order had wrecked him. He felt lost when he wasn't working or studying— though Gansey pointed out that being very productive didn't mean that he was coping healthily with the separation. In fact, he wasn't.

There had been a few weeks after dreaming of, or with Ronan when he had put some distance between the world and him. He couldn't bare looking at displays of joy he was being denied for himself.

What he could look at, though, were shadows such as Kavinsky's unclear relationship to Ronan, despite Gansey's obvious disapproval for prying in their friend's previous lifestyle. Still, Kavinsky had been waiting for such an occasion and invited Adam to have a look at one of his infamous events shortly after.

Adam went. Gansey followed, feeling like he owed Ronan to look after his other half. Kavinsky welcomed both. Gansey noticed something ugly in his eyes, uglier than normal. Adam thought it had always been there and proceed with as much caution as usual. Kavinsky had pretended not to have noticed being examined and placed his arms around their shoulders.

"Let's get you some drinks."  
\---

Even if either or both have been tricked into doing drugs, it had been weeks and there was nothing left in their blood. They weren't liable. Ronan knew the end of the story.

He didn't show disappointment or anything else. Maybe that will come later.  
\---

Adam had not tiptoed around before asking him. He had taken Ronan's journal from his backpack, flipped to the torn pages and intrusive entries asking what the hell that was about. Kavinsky had laughed.

"You want the original back ? You'll have to earn it."

He had given another plastic cup to an outraged Adam. Ronan had unknowingly been treasuring a mere copy, he had been writing inside of it. He was getting the real journal back at all costs.

He drank.

Things got messy from this point, both memory and facts-wise. It's very likely that Kavinsky had drugged Gansey and him. Adam had not asked himself to what ends yet. He wouldn't do that exercise in such a public place either, so he left that part out. He remembered — that proved to be an important detail — that Kavinsky's left eye, which should have showcased the color of his soulmate's, was blind. He had stopped wearing his color lens at some point. Maybe it had started to hurt.

"What's with your eye ?"

"Curious son of a bitch," Kavinsky had casually answered.

He shoved the real, untouched journal against his chest. Adam coughed while closing his fingers over it. Then Kavinsky mimed a gun and placed it against his temple.

"You know this soulmate shit ? Lots of things they don't tell you."

"Like what ?"

He felt like the space he was occupying between Kavinsky and a wall was too small. Music expanded itself in any other space it could reach. The bass felt like it resonated in his body, which was troubling at best. He didn't know if he was listening to Kavinsky or reading on his lips.

"Fuck him and your bond weakens. Kill him and half your sight is gone." Kavinsky tapped his mimed gun against his own forehead. "Bang."

There were too many implications for a drunk person to understand. The effort threatened to split Adam's head in two.

"What's his name again, Paulo— Pr..."

Kavinsky clamped a hand over his lips.

" _Bang,_ " he repeated. "It's not against you. Just wondering, why would Lynch get that and not me ? We're fundamentally the same."

Adam's heartbeat accelerated, making him feel dizzy. He felt too heavy to fight back, not knowing that the fight was over. He turned his head to search for Gansey and didn't see him. Kavinsky stepped back.

"What is the guy's name ?" Adam insisted. "Prokopenko. He was your soulmate."

Kavinsky laughed. "Was ? He's alive. One plus one equals three, baby."

"I don't know what the hell did you do after." Adam's throat was dry. "You're half-blind because he fucking died."

Why was the same person seemingly alive and binge-drinking near the stage, Adam didn't know. Kavinsky had just confessed killing him.

"Yeah. Maybe one plus one equals two, what d'ya think ?"

"No one else than me and Ronan can write in each other's journals," Adam stated, making the truth tangible. "You stole it from him and made a copy— why ?"

He was shaking. Maybe Kavinsky had not struck Proko with a knife but he was still somehow responsible for his soulmate's death. He was a murderer.

"That's an easy one," Kavinsky shrugged, not ashamed

It was easy but Adam could hardly believe it. If he had not fought to escape the trailer on his own the first day, Ronan and him would have never met.

"You wanted to trick him into believing it."

"I hardly believe in Fate— but fucking hell, I envy your favorable odds."

Adam's head still hurt. He saw Gansey, too close. Despite retrieving the journal and learning what he wanted to know, it didn't feel like a victory. It felt more like Kavinsky had successfully lured him with secrets and was hesitating to carry on with his first plan. That is to say, kill him.

"Apparently, you love fairytales, don't you ?"

Adam didn't agree or deny. Maybe he did love them at some point, now, he didn't care for them. Kavinsky stepped back, which made listening to him much harder.

"Ever heard those stories where the heroes are given a box — something shitty, most of the times, a match box, an old opaque jar — and it grants them everything great as long as they do not open it ?"

Adam nodded. "Yeah."

Kavinsky laughed again. "You fucking busted it on the concrete." He paused to calm down. "Hey, at least Lynch is gonna be happy about the journal."

Kavinsky kept monologuing, hesitating to take a decision. Adam couldn't properly fend for himself while holding the journal. He was trapped in the same small space again, Kavinsky holding his hair while whispering in his ear.

"When he died, it felt like my eye was burning. Same as life— a fuckload of pain, then nothing."

"There's nothing because you don't want to _see_ anything."

Kavinsky's fist caught his cheek. Then he aimed better and it collided with his nose. Adam felt both, through the haze of alcohol and whatever else. He preferred that. Kavinsky soon resorted to kicking. The shins, to take him down, then everything else. It hurt, though not as much as he thought it would. He had a very angled view of the world and saw Gansey's golden hair a few people behind the inner limit of the ring of curious party-goers. He was being held back.

Kavinsky gave a last angry kick to his side.

"Stand up. Be gone. Run before I beat the _living hell_ out of you."

Adam painfully collected himself and went through the crowd, to Gansey. Kavinsky turned away from them. He wished he knew why the thought of taking Adam's life had weakened his hands. 

When Adam had gotten close enough, Gansey caught his hand and held on for dear life. He was sweaty. Adam assumed he was having a bad reaction to something he had been given. Gansey waited until they were outside to speak.

"Help me," he croaked.

Adam examined what he could see— head, neck and arms. He noticed an uneven spot on Gansey's forearm. The mark of a syringe or a bug bite. This party had literally happened in a barn. He carefully circled the bump.

"That ?"

"I think so."

"Do you have anything to help ?"

Gansey shook his head. His parents were mortified at the thought someone would find a syringe and medical substances in their son's belongings— as if strangers were _expected_ to look through his things. Adam didn't know how to deal with allergic reactions. He asked for Gansey's phone to call the emergencies.

"They'll be here soon."

Gansey thanked him. They kept walking towards the city in case Kavinsky planned on carrying with his threat.

"You told them to come here ?"

"They told me not to move you," Adam said, apologetic. "Keep talking."

"What should I be saying ?"

"Anything." Adam paused. "That you were right all along, that I'm an idiot, that you wish Ronan's soulmate was someone else—"

Gansey made an offended sound while giving Adam's arm a little slap.

"You're an idiot for thinking that I'm—" the sentence was getting too complicated, so he changed it. "Ronan and you are perfect for each other. Plus, none of us know what the copy was made to do."

"Is it worth what you're going through ?"

"Only you can tell."

Adam thought a bit. "In my opinion, it is."

Gansey wasn't mad that it was. He would have been if Adam had been dishonest about the journal's true worth. They could still see the barn and hear the music but it felt safer.

He paid the hospital bill, using most of what Ronan had left for him. There was still enough to eat. Gansey's main concern was that his parents would have known about it— he didn't have to worry anymore.

A few weeks later, the deadline for the trial had gotten closer and Adam had still not healed, even imperfectly. He had not even started to. Red and purple were scattered in blobs wherever Kavinsky had strongly punched or kicked and refused to turn to green and yellow, then fade away. They were sat in what could qualify as a Monmouth's living room. Adam was done applying some of Ronan's medicinal lotion on Gansey's stung arm, now it was the other way around. Adam sighed, frustrated.

"Did I drink something that keeps the healing process from starting ?"

"It's an option."

The way Gansey answered showed that it was a plausible option and also one he didn't like much.

"Well, it has to start healing. I can't show up at court if it hasn't. This," he made a large gesture showcasing his ugly bruised self, "is exactly what he _needs_ to be let off."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit anxious because writing complex timelines is a first for me !
> 
> For those who may have lost themselves in the plot threads : the main timeline is the court case being tried, then a second timeline opens with Adam's narration of what wasn't told at the beginning of the chapter. Logically, the narration will continue through the next chapter (I'm thinking half of it).
> 
> Maybe because I'm writing, I feel the end getting closer ! Kavinsky will not return as a main character, hopefully, his role and motivations have been made clear. Also, the hint he has given about how the nature of two soulmates' bond can change will be explained... later. On a completely unerelates note, you'll be having a nice surprise in the next chapter, aha.
> 
> Please let me know what you think and thanks for having followed the story so far !


	7. There's no imagining how the wind will be like (2/2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam's retelling of the story continues, revealing more of the harrowing events that preceded the trial.  
> \---
> 
> _"You're a girl."_
> 
> _Blue squinted. Given how dumb most boys were, she was glad to qualify._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time ! I had finals and life and all. Hopefully, it's over now and I can write more.
> 
> We're still following the additional timeline. More comments in the end notes, enjoy !

"Can I get you anything ?"

Blue figured she'd ask, after having walked past the table a few times while carrying various orders. She had seen Gansey with Ronan a few times before. The it had been Adam and Ronan. The circle had been closed and the logical series was over.

The boys quietly discussed an answer before Gansey ordered something he used to, for both of them. They looked more like they needed a place to talk than eat.

"What happened ?" she asked Adam.

"Got beaten up."

"Thought you weren't around your parents anymore."

"I'm not," he confirmed.

Blue raised a brow. She wanted to know. Adam was going to explain properly when Gansey cut him, looking like he just had an idea.

"Would you happen to know about makeup ?"

"Why would I ?" she asked, getting suspicious.

The kohl outlining her eyes counted as art.

"You're a girl."

Blue squinted. Given how dumb most boys were, she was glad to qualify.

"I'm expecting an apology for when I come back with your pizza."

Adam giggled. She heard them starting to talk and was glad they had stopped sadly not looking at each other— even if the subject of their talk was Gansey not understanding why she'd be offended. It was around twenty minutes before the meal was ready. She went to place it in front of them. Adam was still amused.

"Forgive me for... calling you a girl ?" Gansey hesitated.

"Good enough," Blue decided. "You're forgiven."

Adam made a sentence to explain who had beaten him up and the reasons behind it.

"Why would you want to hide that ?" she asked. "I mean, it is ugly but most people are used to seeing bruises."

"I can't show up at court like this. It'll be a great pretext for my father— look, I haven't beaten him up this time ! Maybe I haven't the other times too !"

"Ok," Blue said. "Calm down. He has beaten you up. That's just bad timing."

"I'm an underage—"

"Underweight," Blue supplied.

"Teen," Gansey continued.

"I hate you," Adam told them, rolling his eyes. "It's already a miracle that the case wasn't dismissed and that both Ronan and I have a chance to be heard. No one is going to listen if I show up like this."

"So what ?" Blue shrugged. "You just need away from your father. I get that it will be infuriating but you won't have to go back."

"If the court doesn't trust me, it won't trust Ronan. He'll be found guilty of beating me up and lying about it. Of course I'll be going back."

"Ronan is being tried ?"

"I should have started with that," Adam agreed.

"God." She looked over her shoulder. "I'm needed at the counter."

Gansey stared at her feet, a few steps behind her.

"What ?" Adam asked.

"There's— a string coming from her apron, I think."

"You should tell her before it gets too frayed."

"When she comes back around."

They ate. Adam wasn't hungry, but it was good. Gansey asked him about his plans for after all of this is over. He said college. Thought sleep, Ronan and Opal. He wondered how she was doing. What they were up to.

"There's a string coming from your—"

Blue and Gansey spoke at the same time. Adam had not seen any string, to be fair. A flash of understanding linked all three of them. Gansey wanted to stand. Blue looked like she had seen a ghost.

" _No !_ "

He sat back, unsure of what she meant. Adam knew better than to intervene.

"B—"

"It's for your safety." She exhaled quickly. "You shouldn't come back around."

She briskly walked away. Gansey turned to Adam.

"Was that about what I said earlier ?"

"I don't think so. Let me talk to her," he suggested.

Gansey agreed. Adam waited until she was done going around Nino's, gave her another handful of seconds and stood up.

"Blue ?"

She turned to face him, ready to joust.

"I'm not getting around him anymore."

"Not asking you to."

She stopped squaring her shoulders.

"What, then ?"

"You were sort of rude, so there's that."

"I shouldn't have said anything about that string."

"Gansey is a nice person, you know. He didn't mean the girl thing—"

He dodged when she wanted to hit him with her platter.

"That's not the problem," she huffed. "We just shouldn't be together, ever."

Adam made a gesture telling her to elaborate.

"He's meant to die."

"In his nineties, like the luckiest of us."

"Because of me," Blue confessed. "Could you just— nevermind."

She walked back with him at the table, thanked Gansey for warning her about the frayed apron, apologized for her rudeness and said that she had cut the faulty string.

"We'll figure it out," Adam promised.

Gansey indulged him with a tiny smile.  
\---

"Adam ?"

"I'm good."

He was not. His whole self ached from the separation— he didn't even see Ronan much, before, between sleeping and doing the thousand things he was supposed to. Remove Ronan from the equation and it gets unsolvable. Gansey put a half-carved cardboard building down.

"I can continue on my own; thanks for having kept me company."

Adam exited the room. Monmouth was very different from the Barns. It followed different rules, given the latter had any. He picked up the phone downstairs, listened to the empty tones then hung it with a quiet sigh. His father knew they were getting together at some point. These were the rules. Keeping soulmates apart is complicated and always proves to be useless.

However, this reunion could happen today, in twenty years or on either Ronan or his deathbed. Robert was being downright cruel. Adam dropped his clothes on the floor and pulled the sheets up to his chin. Was his own name a curse ? This punishmnent is a lot, even for being the first to fall for temptation.

If it was to take forever, of course they'd wait. Though he'd rather have Ronan now and keep him for whatever amount of years they have left. He tossed around in his bed and decided to go back to the phone roughly an hour later. This time, he hesistated more before hanging up. Calling Ronan from Monmouth was dangerous for both of them. The preventive order could turn out to be definitive if they failed to follow the rules.

Gansey was still working on his cardboard replicas. He didn't notice Adam's return at the moment he entered, caught up in his work.

"It's late," he pointed out. "Can I help you ?"

He shook his head, thanked Gansey and laid on the couch. Tonight, he felt more like Gansey needed help.

"She hid Ronan and me in a storage room."

Gansey looked up. He needed more context to understand. Adam cleared that he was primarily talking about Blue and explained what she had done. His point was to tell Gansey what she had said about Fate.

"She didn't explain why— just that it would be best for whoever that person is."

"Then she's only doing what she thinks is for the better."

Gansey was calm about the whole situation even if Adam knew him enough by now to tell that her half-rejection had hurt him.

"What would Ronan say ?"

"As valuable as his input is to you — rightfully so —, I'm positive it wouldn't anything too helpful."

Adam laughed. He didn't agree.

"He'd have said... Oh, I can't think like him."

"How is it so important ?" Gansey end up asking.

"I don't know. We're missing a piece of the puzzle and if Ronan was there, I feel like he'd have given us a clue. Unwillingly."

Adam kept his mental exercise running, replaying his conversations with Ronan to come up with something plausible. Blue had not wanted to touch Gansey. If Ronan had seen or heard of this he'd have made a comment. Which one ?

"Gansey, what has caused your allergy at Kavinsky's party ?"

The honey blond king frowned. "Bees."

"Does Ronan pick up on you sometimes ?"

"A lot," he said with a small laugh. "I'm afraid you get a special treatment. Why ?"

Adam sighed. "I'm trying to make connections."

Maura would have lost it. Adam didn't know yet but that was literally what he had been crafted for.

"You have known Ronan for years so tell me if it sounds plausible."

"I'm all ears."

"He'd have said something about that, because you're bummed." Gansey didn't deny. "He'd have tied your allergies into whatever he'd say, because Monmouth is okay to be an idiot about that."

Gansey said that is sound good, so far. Ronan's voice suddenly rang in his ears, painfully close.

_If a bug can kill Gansey then a girl certainly will._

Gansey set down his tools. Minus the curses, Adam's words had a very Ronan ring to them. He was still amazed by the quality of Adam's impression while Adam had moved onto analyzing the sentence.

"He'd have been a genius," he muttered. "It makes sense..."

"Care to explain ?"

"Blue is afraid that she'll kill you. Whatever she's supposed not to do involves touching."

Gansey was definitely impressed. He wanted to congratulate Adam, to record the strange thinking process, to do something else than standing dazed while holding a carved cardboard museum.

"Was that too sudden ?" Adam asked. "Sorry— oof."

"Are you alright ?"

Adam's voice came muffled.

"Yeah. Thought a lot about him." He rolled on his back again and asked; "Will you panic if I start crying ?"

"Oh, Adam."

Gansey placed the unfinished replica down and went to sit by his side. Adam had covered his face with his hands. Gansey told him that describing what he felt could help.

"I can hear his voice. I want to tell him what we're doing, what we found out and how but I can't. If I call him, he'll answer but we're not supposed to communicate."

Gansey brushed the back of his hand on Adam's forehead. He apologized for having him twist the knife in fresh wounds. Adam closed his eyes and cut Ronan's memory from Blue's. The process took him a few minutes.

"We should tell Maura— Blue's mother. That you'd like to talk to Blue."

"Do you think us guessing her reasons will change her mind ?"

"No." Adam paused. "But both parties should give it a try."

 

Blue had not agreed to see them until the deadline for the first hearing had gotten really close and Adam's bruises had still not healed. She borrowed what Orla had to offer for the occasion and pointed out that she did not wear makeup before asking to see the problem. The bruises were still looking recent enough that Ganset almost expect to see blood trickling down Adam's cheeks.

At least, it distracted both Blue and him from their common issue.

"Orla has given me written instructions." She pushed the bottles and brushes towards Gansey. "I read and apply them, you give me what I need."

Gansey couldn't name a single item to save his life but he didn't discuss her orders. He resorted to handing her random brushes and noticed she didn't know what she was asking for either. The result wind up okay. Maura made a strange concoction to get Adam's blood flowing properly. His friends cheered for him as he drank.

It was terrible, but seeing them bond over his misfortune made it bearable. Hours later, he had washed the makeup and noticed that a few marks had started to change color. He was healing. Gansey and Blue were still tiptoeing around their issues. He had enough.

"You're both very lucky," he started. "Make it work."

That's always the deal. Fate puts soulmates together. Then, they fight. He left the room to check Blue's work on him and closed the door to give them a sense of intimacy.

There weren't many mirrors around. He found two human-sized mirrors facing one another in the attic and unknowingly stepped between them. Blue and Gansey had done some impressive work with their limited knowledge. His skin looked healthy. He felt odd, almost having grown used to seeing the patches of uneven colors. Because there were two mirrors, he could see himself from behind too.

He forgot about his friends sorting themselves out in Blue's room and kept looking. There was one mirror and its reflection. Two mirrors for his own image. He sat between them. Thought he should get at least two good nights of sleep before the audience. He stared in his own blue eyes and wondered why they were of such color. It didn't fit with the rest.

Both of his ears started buzzing. He couldn't look away from himself. Wondered if he was looking from the outside or the inside. He didn't know. He wanted to stand and walk away from the magnetic field that made his head spin and caused his heart to race.

Too late.

_"Shit."_

His voice was a whisper. He grabbed his hair. Nothing had changed, objectively, but he knew he was on the other side of the mirror. His body laid there, as ugly as when he looked from the inside. He saw his actual reflection on the other mirror. He turned away before the spell had split him — soul, mind, whatever — in four. He needed help.

_The world collapsed and rebuilt itself. Another, greater room._

_Court._

_They were taking Ronan from him. Officers have seemingly been waiting for the masquerade to be over. Ronan didn't fight. Robert threw a strong punch at his face. The action was so fast that the bearers of uniform couldn't stop him._

_Adam ran, didn't move an inch. The hammer gave him a headache._

_The scene shattered._

_Ronan was dying on the driveway to the Barns. His hands were pressed over his stomach, failing to keep the blood inside. An unnamed man tossed the gun over his bloodied hands, so that he could end his agony if it lasted too long. How considerate._

_Ronan was always dying. In one of the fever dreams, Adam told him to leave and he said_ 'never.' _So he kept dying._

Then Adam was back in the mirror, which passed as waking up. Maura and the other two, Blue and Gansey were there. There was also one he didn't know, with fair hair and fair everything. The four psychics were having an intense discussion while Adam's friends looked somewhat guilty.

They thought — and were right about it — that if their issues have been solved faster, Adam wouldn't have gone on a dangerous quest for mirrors.

"These charms spell Neeve in all letters," the fair lady was saying. "She has always had a thing for darker magic."

Calla huffed. "She had better not left them uncovered. "What if Blue..."

Gansey had stepped to what Adam guessed was the limit of the safe zone. Adam's body had not been moved since he fell. Maura turned to Blue.

"Why did he come up here ?"

"I don't know."

Blue confessed that Gansey and her were too focused on their talk that to mind him going out.

"You have both been inconsiderate." Orla pursed her lips, the unusual sterness making her look older. "He suffered a lot from people not minding him."

She was right; if anyone had cared, they'd have helped him out. Gansey was ashamed of having failed him. Blue didn't argue against Orla's point.

"It's either too late or too early for blames, Orla," Maura said. "We have to get him out."

"How ?" Calla asked.

"Not sure yet."

They could communicate with him as he heard and understood what they said. The communication didn't go both ways. They tried a few basics spells which didn't work because Adam was split in two. They couldn't pull one part then another.

"We've got to know what is in this mirror and what's over there," Maura end up saying, alternatively pointing at both mirrors. "What day is it today ?"

"Saturday," Gansey answered.

"No school. Perfect. Can you go get Ronan ?"

"Of course."

"Would you mind taking Blue with you ?"

Gansey didn't. Blue glanced over her shoulder before the door closed, guilt-ridden. Orla's words have gotten to her. Adam looked like he was fading. Maybe because he was split in two. He was distraught, too, his eyes fixed on his useless body. Sometimes she had noticed him looking at Persephone. Then he was quickly back to contemplating the vessel to his soul, consciously not looking at the other mirror's reflection. Now, Blue regretted not having given the right mirror even a glance.

"She wasn't really asking."

"Pardon ?"

"Maura's questions," Blue repeated. "They're orders."

"It's a considerate way to command."

Blue huffed. Gansey lent her his phone to call Ronan while he drove. He didn't want to show unprompted and give his best friend a heart attack.

Ronan didn't pick up the first time. Or the second. Or the third.

"What's wrong ?"

"Uh," Blue started. "Kinda complicated."

"Who are you ?"

"Blue."

Ronan remained quiet, then asked again about what was going on. She told him that Gansey and her were coming then hung up. Gansey took his eyes off the road to stare with a mix of admiration and amusement.

"What ?"

"You and Ronan share a surprising lack of communication skills during unprecedented situations."

Blue raised a brow, dropped the phone in the glovebox and leaned back in her seat. Ronan had been waiting for them on the porch.

"We need you," Gansey said.

"News to me," Ronan answered.

Blue punched his arm. "Idiot."

"I'm asking for the umpteenth—"

" _Third_ time," Blue interrupted him. "Only third. Adam is trapped in two mirrors. Hurry before we get arrested."

Gansey whispered an alarmed 'Blue !' Ronan had gone livid in the moment after processing the information.

"Between two mirrors ?"

"In," Blue repeated. "You'll understand better when we get there."

"Let's go."

Ronan remained quiet for most of the road time. Blue hoped that the situation has either evolved in a positive way or not at all. After they had exited the car, she elbowed Gansey to get his attention.

"We should have told him about the body."

"Oh— heavens !"

They hurried upstairs. Maura was speaking to Ronan, who seemed hermetic to all communication attempts.

"You won't get between the mirrors. Promise."

No questions, Gansey noticed. Blue pointed out that Ronan would be unresponsive to attempts at politeness anyway. Maura only let him in the room after he had reluctantly sworn. He let out a strangled cry upon seeing Adam's body. It was in pretty much the same position than after he had fallen.

Of course, it was between the mirrors. He turned to Gansey, helpless.

"Adam is alive," Orla cleared.

"He unknowingly stepped in the field of action of a sleeping spell," Persephone said. "Neeve has cast it— we do not know what it was supposed to do."

"How do you get him out ?"

"We were hoping you could help us with that," Persephone said.

"I dream," Ronan said. "Under specific conditions."

This problem had too many variables. Adam pressed his hands flat against the inside of the glass. He seemed very close. Both reflections didn't move at the same time. Most of the time though, they mirrored each other.

"Can he hear us ?"

"Yes."

"Why should we leave his body like this ?"

Calla devoted herself to explain, yet she adressed Ronan's question with an audible mix of disgust and haughtiness.

"We do not know this spell. How it works, what it does— if someone touches Adam, they may get sucked in. For all we know, maybe he's strengthening it."

Ronan looked at each mirror and his loved one's body on the floor again.

"I'm taking the risk."

He followed his first impulsion, which had been to kneel next to Adam and arrange him in a way that didn't make him look broken, placing Adam's head on his lap. While everyone else had been unconsciously drawn to the left side, he sat at the middle and didn't focus on a specific mirror. When Maura asked him about it, he answered that Adam was a lot of organized thought and that the spell may have torn them apart. Then he leaned over Adam and started whispering in his good ear. He spoke for a long time.

_Please._

_I know it's hard._

_It feels lonely and not gonna lie, I'll have to go as soon as your eyes open. None of this will make you want to come back but— get yourself together._

Maura nodded at Blue, who nodded back before stepping closer to the misfortunate souls.

"May I ?"

Gansey crossed his arms on his chest, watching intently. Ronan paused his litany of prayers and agreed to let her palm settle on his bare shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I assumed Blue and Gansey both have brown eyes, Fate had to come with another trick to bring them together, such as this Ariane's string. There's still a lot to do about his relationship to Blue but after all he went through, I thought I'd still write their reunion.
> 
> Next chapter will pull you back in the trial's (main) timeline. It's already written, I'll publish it in a few days. I'm already wondering about where to end this story. There is so much to tell. I think there'll be three more chapters at most, maybe a fourth for extras or if loose plot threads remain. We'll see.
> 
> Feel free to let your thoughts be known ! As usual when I post after so much time, I get a bit worried that you'd think it wasn't worth the wait. But I'm satisfied with how it's turning out. I hope you share this feeling (even though you're not sure what will happen next haha.)


	8. The flood and the rainbow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The loops ends, bringing unexpected developments to the case. Two reunions happen, one expected, the other less.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me much more time than I expected to write. Apologies for any typos and thank you for your patience.
> 
> Hope you'll still enjoy !

_Ever thought about how many people there are and how I'm supposed to find you ? I've somehow always thought you'd be around; it just dawned on me that you could be anywhere._

_Please be well.  
\---_

_I'm not sure what to write. You will know everything, so what is the point ? Alright. That's not the problem. If I keep writing, this will become a diary. Hope you had a good day.  
\---_

_I'm confused, mostly. Terrified to some extent. Life and death feel all the same, where are you to help me make sense of this ?  
\---_

_I havent found the right balance between writing letters and a diary. You'll laugh and say I'm giving it too much thought, won't you ? I bet you will. Got money for that. I've been working.  
\---_

_I'm confused. Terrified, too. Now between vigil and sleep... it's insane.  
\---_

_Routine is the worst. I can't live like this yet I'm getting used to it. Maybe I'm supposed to... but you certainly deserve better.  
\---_

_Forgive me. When we meet, I'll come clean and tell you everything. Sounds good, doesn't it ?  
\---_

_It's not easy to believe. It's not easy to live. That's why I survive. Of course, I have plans, but I'm holding on for you, too.  
\---_

_Maybe you'll want someone else. I'll understand. But if you give me a chance someday, I'll be ready.  
\---_

_It hurts, it hurts, it fucking hurts.  
\---_

_Forgive me. Hold on, I'm coming.  
\---_

_Ronan Niall Lynch, second son of Niall Lynch and Aurora Lynch, makes Adam Parrish the only owner of all of his possessions, regardless of their nature, physical or not, from this world or another. This will is to take effect if for some reason, Ronan Niall Lynch is incapacitated and/or made legally unable to profit from these._

_There are no obligations to submit to or justifications to give; Adam Parrish will be able to dispose of all as he pleases, being the only legitimate owner, as if he had inherited._

_Despite the previous block, Ronan Niall Lynch suggests that he does not sell the property registered as "the Barns", if he can avoid it._

_He also suggests that Adam Parrish allowed at least Matthew Lynch around "the Barns", and sustained a good relationship with this person._

_None of this would matter without the assurance that Adam Parrish is dear to Ronan Niall Lynch; that he is deeply loved no matter what and that these feelings are so strong that measures fail to quantify._

_Excelsior._

_Made at Henrietta, the xx/xx/xxxx._

_by Ronan Niall Lynch  
\---_

_You're such an idiot._

_Ronan Niall Lynch should rest assured that the concept of measure is ridiculous compared to the strong and genuine sense of caring he woke in Adam Parrish._

_For obvious reasons, Adam Parrish's strongly wishes that the will he is to benefit from remains but a whim from its writer. As fancy and ridiculous as it sounds, he will also stop writing third person from now on._

_We haven't met under favorable odds yet you moved mountains for me. I can never thank you enough. I know you'll be having an exasperated reaction to this sentence and the thought is making me laugh. Yes, I do want to write, thank you for caring._

_You were right; none of this would matter without the assurance that Ronan Niall Lynch is dear to Adam Parrish, that he is deeply loved no matter what and that these feelings are so strong that measures fail to quantify._

_Excelsior._

_Made at Henrietta, the xx/xx/xxxx._

_by Adam Parrish._  
\---

The judge's voice resonated across the room long after he had put Ronan's journal down. Next to it was Adam's. The inked young man had been hypnotized during the whole reading. Adam only recognized fear once it had stopped weighing on his shoulders. There was no danger. He had retrieved Ronan's true journal. No one else would know about Kavinsky's additions.

Ronan heard blood rushing to his ears. That was over. Big chunks of texts were gone in the blink of an eye. Others appeared, like the last dazzling entry. He didn't understand. He hadn't expected the journals to be opened and read to the whole room, much like he didn't expect to find someone in his bed at night, if Adam was not around.

Ronan had written a lot before meeting Kavinsky. About his family, the dreams, himself. Then he had withdrawn from his own journal for a reason unknown to the Jury, until the last entry in which he told his soulmate to hold on. Then, there had been no reason to keep writing. He had wanted to tell Adam everything himself, didn't know how far his soulmate's reading had taken him.

Of course, Adam knew much more than the last time they were reunited. He could even explain how Kavinsky's entries have been erased. The exchange was a miracle. It wouldn't have taken much more than someone else's handwriting to keep them apart.

Realizing this felt like contemplating the void after being pulled away from a slippy edge. Ronan caught Adam's eyes for a moment and even though he knew there was no other way things were back like they were supposed to, that still confirmed it. He imperceptibly tilted his chin up, as if asking if Ronan would have done anything different. He didn't have a choice; he did it for them. Now there was no other cure than to wait. The Jury's deliberations would take some time. Ronan was examining the rich details in the room. Robert's expression of boredom was not perfect enough to hide everything else. Adam and Gansey were whispering about him, although he didn't know.

"There is no point in dragging the trial further," he estimated. "None of us has lawyers."

"What does it have to do with anything ?" Adam asked with a raised brow.

"Money," Gansey sighed. "The pinnacle of a modern man's ambitions."

Adam didn't fully understand, money being the source of his problems but definitely not his goal in life. Gansey snapped out of his wistfulness.

"How do you think he will react ?"

Adam genuinely couldn't estimate Robert's reaction. He could go ballistic or keep pulling the act and do nothing. He started counting possibilities. Assuming Ronan and him are indeed getting back together, which Gansey was more confident about than he was, it depends on his sentence.

"He won't risk anything if they let him off."

Gansey had mint leaves. Adam took one. Moved by the same feeling, they glanced at Ronan. The boy imperceptibly shook his head. They swiftly looked away, shaken by a brief, amazed laughter. Adam took it in his hands to bring the serious tone back in the conversation they were having.

"You're closer to him. You're in danger."

"Hurting me wouldn't be a smart decision."

"Whatever the consequences are, you'd still be hurt. Badly, even."

"There is no way to help it," Gansey concluded. "We have to stand there, so, it's going to be either of us."

"You're looking after me on Ronan's behalf, I'm looking after you on Blue's. There has to be another option."

"All of this is based on the hypothesis that he will lash out in anger," Gansey summed up. "Let's hope that he has the tiniest bit of human decency left."

Hope was their last option. Gansey's phrasing didn't strip the words from their harshness. He let Adam lean against him to rest and dozed off after an hour or so. Adam woke up before he did and only adjusted Gansey's head to prevent neck pains.

Ronan was restless by nature. They expected it to take hours. Living through it was different.

"Whose car are we taking ?"

Gansey emitted an interrogative sound, his eyes fixed on Robert's silhouette. The man appeared to be asleep.

"We're going back together," Adam cleared.

"I thought—"

Adam elbowed him with very little intention.

"You really think either of us could stand seeing you walk back on your own after this ?"

They experienced loneliness like never before. Gansey thought he could get used to, but Monmouth did seem too big without either Adam or Ronan, when he could not have both. The implications of Adam's question filled a growing void he had tried to hide from everyone including himself : the fear of losing a friend.

The idea that he was not, in fact, in addition to the door Adam let open to arrange the puzzle of their relationships in a different way rather than making it two different artworks had a deep effect. Part of him had been mourning Ronan's loss since the day they met.

If anything, waiting was still terrible. Adam wondered his father's story was believable, enough that the Jury needed to think about it; why did Ronan have to be sat at the other side of the room and why did Gansey insist to keep standing next to his father. Finally, he wondered if it could have been that easy for his father to stand around him without causing harm, why was his mother not enough to stop it— has she even wanted to ?

"Not again," he muttered, hiding his face in his palms.

He had been in a similar state of mind before being caught in Neeve's spell. Thoughts and more thoughts spiralling until someone had to get in lethal danger to retrieve him.

"How long—"

The door opened. Each of the judge's footsteps felt like another strong punch in his stomach. He was terrified, having thought about this moment so much that a positive outcome felt very unlikely. Both of his ears were buzzing; which makes that he didn't hear much and even if he did, he wouldn't have felt satisfied. A heavy lump in his throat threatened to break the wall of tears building up too fast. Most people standing have suffered too much, too long.

"It's over."

Gansey was remarkably concise. Adam didn't have it in him to glance at his father. It was over.

Chatter exploded into the loudest cacophony ever as the doors opened. If not for Gansey's guidance, he would have been lost. He felt himself move and saw the scenery change without taking an active part in it. He wasn't confused or numb. He wanted to feel but felt like he was forcefully wrapped in heavy layers of gauze.

It was over.  
\---

_"Adam."_

He was pretty sure there had been silence before the anxious call. Utter silence. He blinked, Ronan's shape appearing to be most of his view.

"I'm good," he defiantly replied, first thing.

"It's that spell, isn't it ?"

Adam propped himself up on his elbows, then sat up. Dawn announced the transition between an emotionally demanding day and the soothing night. His blackout had lasted this much.

"Could be, or I fainted."

Ronan barked a laugh.

"You don't do that."

Adam had already drawn the parallel between these events and those from the psychic's mirrors but he'd rather believe that Fate was cutting them some slack. Ronan combed his hair backwards, revealing his tired features to the dim light.

"Where is Gansey ?"

"Downstairs."

"Where are we ?"

"Monmouth."

Adam's state had forced them to settle for the closest option. Adam exhaled shakily. Ronan leaned forward and Adam guided him in a kiss. It was short-lived and slow but likeable.

"Was he sentenced ?"

"No. Not really."

Ronan didn't let him ask more. "What happened with my journal ?"

"I got it back."

The whole story was on the verge of his lips. He only answered less than five words to give Ronan a taste of his own medicine. Ronan growled but didn't ask for details. Instead he tugged on Adam's hair to retaliate. Yet Adam didn't continue until he had requested to hear the full story. As expected, Ronan didn't let him finish. The ending was their fight and Kavinsky beating up some bruises that didn't heal properly.

"That's not the point," Adam firmly opposed. "He had done all of this to trick you."

"I know."

"If you had stayed with him, we'd have never met."

Ronan sighed and held him close. He knew that, too. Adam turned his head to ask for another kiss. There was more than physical need. Their intimacy had been broken. Now they were picking up bits and pieces for a fix. Of course it was frustrating to be together and not be able to pick things up in the same state they were left. But they were still together and  
that had to mean something.

"I'd still have chosen you."

The whisper died between them. Being soulmates was a tragic mix between Fate and personal choices. None mattered for a good ending. Adam wrapped his legs around Ronan's waist. Their clothes were discarded piece by piece. There was no makeup this time. He let Ronan examine the healing bruises on his ribs and legs.

"Forgive me," Adam asked.

"Only because you're alive," Ronan retorted. "I'm going to fucking murder him."

"How ?"

Adam's breath hitched, sometimes, when Ronan's careful mapping led his hands over sensitive areas. Keeping a firm, disapproving tone was harder in this setting. Part of him suspected Ronan was doing this on purpose. A familiar surge of fondness and annoyance washed over him.

"I'm not going to get imaginative about this shit."

"Good, because it's not that complicated. Forget him."

Ronan laughed with his usual sharpness.

"Too easy."

Adam pulled him up, to his height, and placed both of his hands around Ronan's head.

"I've told you once before, about someone else. Love me instead of hating him."

"Too hard on you, then."

Adam let out an exasperated sigh and kissed him. Surprisingly, Ronan replied. He leaned down until Adam's back was resting against the pillows again. Then he kept lowering himself for a bit, pressing himself on his soulmate.

"You're such a shithead," Adam muttered, fighting to keep control of his voice.

Ronan let him guide his head on to his neck.

"I'm a lucky shithead."

Adam laughed, both because of the statement and Ronan's feather-like touch tickling him. Ronan didn't work at leaving any type of mark but managed to provide with an equal pleasure.

"Are we doing this ?"

He rested his head on Adam's chest, unable to explain why he liked the feeling his soulmate's pulse so much. There was something in there that turned down all the other parasitic noises in his head. Adam crossed his arms over his back.

"Yeah. Why ?"

"You said it'd change us. Have you figured out how ?"

"I think so." Adam paused, tracing soothing patterns on Ronan's skin. Kavinsky's spiteful hint had not been much to work with. "Let's think with facts. Do you agree it's safe to say most soulmates end up kicking it ?"

He snorted but also nodded his head in agreement.

"Let's assume the consequences are nothing too terrible." He felt Adam's slow exhale, meaning the continuous descent of his chest. Then his ribcage expanded, completing the soundless cycle. "What happens is that they don't always notice something has changed."

He made a sound to show his attention and approval. Adam waited for a sign that he was still listening every once in a while and Ronan had gotten curious, more than his previous casualness showed.

"What is something most soulmates do not know about ?"

"Pain."

Adam's thumb stopped tracing circles on his shoulder and he knew that was the right answer. Kavinsky and Prokopenko had known. He wondered how they felt, waking up to the loss. He knew he'd have felt awful. This common ability has helped them a lot. Adam remained quiet for a long time to give him time to process the news.

Losing Adam's pain felt like losing part of Adam himself.

"I'd understand if you preferred to wait."

"You're not telling me everything, are you ?"

"I told you what I was certain of."

"Then tell me your opinion on this."

Adam sighed. Ronan climbed back at his side and nudged his cheek, which made him smile.

"We met through each other's pain. It's fair that we didn't keep living with it."

"Do you want to let go ?"

"Who knows if it'll be gone at all ? Maybe that's different for each pair. We don't know. One case — Kavinsky's, above all — is not enough to determine a pattern."

"A pattern," Ronan repeated.

He had a hard time keeping his mind away from that of Adam's curls. He received a forehead kiss as some sort of compensation for staying focused on a more important though less thrilling topic.

"Yes, a pattern. I'd understand if—"

"I want you. I'll always have you, like you'll always have me. Whole, at that."

A warm feeling spread from Adam's chest to his whole body. Ronan thanked him for sharing the possible changes.

"I promise to catch up on explaining. Tomorrow, maybe."

"I'd rather like a proof."

"What kind ?"

" _Dream me—_ " These words felt odd, heavier than the rest. "Dream me something useful."

Ronan accepted his request, his hands sliding down to his waist. Their lips met and before Adam realized, he was straddling Ronan's hips. He agreed to the change with a laugh, soon echoed in Ronan's chest. The world was narrowed to one another and they were both infinite.  
\---

The distant sound of Chainsaw's disgraceful croaks woke Ronan up. He furrowed his brows and sat at the egde of the bed, coincidentally waking Adam by depriving him from a much needed bodily warmth.

"What's going on ?"

"Wish I knew."

Adam caught his hand before he stood on his feet and received help getting up himself. They hastily threw some clothes on before to exit the room. The noise grew as they got closer to Gansey's room. Ronan knocked, then pushed the door open. For a reason that yet has to be determined, Chainsaw was attacking their honey blond king. Ronan whistled, twice.

"Hey, shitbird !"

He knelt at Gansey's side. His sudden closeness seemed to put the raven off. She flew away, sending a few papers in the open as she went.

"Man, are you alright ?"

"Yes, thank you."

Gansey adjusted his glasses then took the hand Adam offered to help him up.

"You don't get to apologize," he warned.

Gansey let his unborn sentence die in a laugh. He let go of Adam's hand.

"Nice shirt."

Adam glanced down at what he had been wearing. In the moment's heat, it didn't matter much. It was a flashing red piece of fabric labelled 'Coca Cola.' That couldn't be Ronan's. It wasn't his either. He shot his mate a confused glance.

"You wanted something useful," Ronan gruffly reminded him.

Then he silently questionned at Gansey, who, if he was aware of Ronan's breathtaking abilities, couldn't guess the story behind this.

"Thank you for coming," Gansey nodded, "I'll keep my window closed a little while."

He had blantantly ignored Adam's request for further informations. That was so frustrating.

"Yeah, sounds good," Ronan said as a conclusion.

Adam nodded while his mind was racing to understand. As Gansey's door was closed behind them, he decided there was nothing beyond understanding. That was Ronan. Ronan could take things from his dreams. He himself could interfere with things in an uncommon way. They were quite the pair.

"I like it."

"What ?"

He marveled at Ronan's surprise. They walked to the kitchen on a silent agreement.

"The shirt, dumbass."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm satisfied with the story as a whole but for this chapter— I feel like there must have been a prettier way to tell things.
> 
> Anyway, I have no idea when the next one is going to be posted. It can be in a week, or a month. One thing that's certain is that there are still a few plot threads left hanging which I'd like to properly wrap up.
> 
> As usual, feel free to comment, your feedback is very precious and appreciated !
> 
> EDIT : I'll leave the story as it is. I might write another side-story for Blue and Gansey. Either way, thank you for reading and special thanks to noorasdandekar, whose feedback was genuinely appreciated. See you around !


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